Patrick in Michigan compiled this list of our recent top ten (thanks Pat!):
- Have them read the back of the Loreal Preference Box. It has the best sentence structure.
- They must pray before meals. Otherwise, starve them until they pray for mercy.
- Be consistent. If you aren’t, you might mess up and not cover all of the gray.
- Teach them how to handle money, but don’t tell them how much the house cost. That way you can deduct more rent from their allowance.
- Go on a date. If with your spouse, go somewhere cheap like Taco Bell or a bookstore.
- Do something fun and different with your kids. If they don’t like it, take them on a forced march through the forest. Don’t forget the first aid kits!
- Child labor laws don’t apply at home. Get free labor out of them or the pets die!
- Teach them to serve others without expecting anything back. Otherwise your hair will go gray. Just look what happened to your poor Mother!
- Don’t give in to peer pressure. If they do, throw them off the pier and feed them to the sharks, along with all of the other naked people.
- Practice what you preach. Or color your hair. Which ever is easiest.
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