HAPPY WIFE – HAPPY LIFE Or: Let’s Say Goodbye to the Bickersons in 2008
Hi dear friends of Catholic Family Podcast. Happy New Year and blessings. I hope you prayerfully and joyfully welcomed the Christ-child into your hearts and homes. And I send up a wish that we can find ways to draw closer to Him in 2008. And this quickly brings me to my topic for this e-column. [Please remember that I’m ‘neutral’ in what is going to unfold here. I’m neither Democrat nor Republican. I’m an Independent.]
Okay: Those of you who like Allyson, and think she’s lovely and that she should get more respect… more airtime… less nagging from David …. Please stand over here to my right…. (Pause)…. “Oh my gosh… Allyson – just look at all your supporters and fans…. Maybe you could consider doing your own show? And Allyson – if you need someone to manage your ‘fan club’ – please consider hiring a true ‘independent’ person, will you?”
Okay now: Those of you who think David is a charming leader and a sheer delight and should keep doing what he’s been doing to become one of the leading Catholic Podcasters – please stand over here on my left…. (Pause)…. “Well David – I think these few men (just a few beer-drinking men) standing here on the left – they’re just not representative of all your talents and skills. Some political candidates are having the same problem – so we’ll work together on your image, okay?”
Now back to Deacon Tom’s column.
Do you know who my favorite Podcasters are? Well of course it’s the Sweeneys…. And I’m not just saying that because they hired me as a very high-priced personal deacon – uh uh! I also love Greg and Jennifer. (Jennifer – I think Massa Greg picks on you far too much…) And I’m often I-tuned to Mac and Kathryn (and as a neutral observer, that show couldn’t continue if it wasn’t for her).
But guess what I’ve discovered about all of them? Those Catholic couples all ‘bicker’ back and forth – not just once in a blue moon, either. They do sound, at times like the husband and wife couple of years ago called the Bickersons. Did you ever listen to that couple?
On a recent Catholic Family Podcast (Episode 71, 12/14/07), I heard the Sweeney’s doing minor ‘fussing’ at each other… talking about their two-path, two-track lives… David going at Allyson (the ‘Princess’) a little bit about her not supporting his running – imagine Allyson focusing on her music and not first consulting with David about his plans for doing marathons. Oh – did I mention Allyson complaining about having to live some 14 years in a cramped house with no bathtub and her raising four kids … almost all by herself?
As I’ve said above – I’ve listened to Mac and Kathryn who could be the prototypes for the Bickersons. And poor, poor Jennifer – I bet people are praying on string rosary beads just for her to stick in that marriage… (… ? ). Well of course I am mostly exaggerating. But the purpose of my January Catholic Family Column is to discuss bickering. Is it natural that all of us married couples bicker?
\Is it possible to change? Change even a little? I wonder. I pray. Is it possible that we could forget New Year resolutions about weight or sweets? Those are New Year’s resolutions like we’ve made in past years? Could we consider adding a dimension of love and respect in our marriages that will blossom into more loving and respectful communications?
I tell you what brought this to mind. In the same episode of CFP mentioned above – David and Allyson were sharing about a family problem they have experienced (with Austin)… and thank you dear hearts for your openness. There was a brief discussion of Passive/ Aggressive Behavior. This is something we experienced in our child rearing as well. David is the (advanced-degree) expert about all of this stuff – but I began to wonder if our children might not be helped by parents trying to find ways to reduce the (slightly) negative words and themes that parents expose them to? I don’t know; I wonder?
When we were joined in the sacrament of marriage – there were promises to love AND HONOR all the days of our lives. Is ‘harmless’ bickering an indication that “I’m now taking you… or taking our marriage for granted?” Would our relationships be improved if we prayed together for the addition of more respect and less bickering in our day-to-day lives? (If you talk to my wife, she will probably want to know if I’ve signed up for this as well.) Would you be willing to consider – prayerfully consider adding this as a real New Year’s Resolution? Let me know what you think?
Blessings. Deacon Tom. www.deacontomonline.com