There is a saying that has found a home in my memory cells to use when it’s appropriate. I believe it originated on the Seinfeld TV show many years ago. It goes: “Men don’t want to know what’s on TV; men want to know what else is on TV.” I have a friend — Deacon Don who is the epitome of that statement. Don is always in control of the TV’s remote — and this family has the ‘picture in a picture’ feature on their TV. Don is forever… I mean endlessly switching pictures on the main screen while commanding other images into the smaller display screen, and then bringing one of the small images up onto the main display. His dear wife is used to it and doesn’t say anything — but it seems endlessly impatient and restless.

When I’ve used that joke about men and TV — I’ve often thought to myself that that well could be a saying about men who have frequent attention and diversion towards other women. And in certain parts of our culture, it seems that many change wives with an ease that threatens even the notion of marriage vows or lifetime unions.

I was in the midwest recently — in an area that might be considered the middle of the Bible belt. It could be anywhere out there — but my attention and the thrust of my observations has to do with Missouri. There are more Biblically-based mega-churches and Christian faith walks in this part of the country. And it must be a certain truth now that the idea of permanent marriage in most of these Christian churches is an illusion.

There are so many divorces and remarriages in these parts — and so many people live together before they are married — I just don’t know what their preachers are teaching or saying to them. I just don’t know how Biblically-based faiths can disregard the historic understandings of marriage. And of course, we could extend this topic area to same sex unions, to contraception and to abortion.

I’m in a (real, sacramental, permanent) marriage sort of mood as I write this column. I have come to value my DW so much in recent years — a gift resulting from the strong marriage rebuilding and repair work they did with us deacon candidates during the four year formation period for deacons in the Archdiocese of Denver. I know — I think both Dee and I know of a time when we were not blessed with a happy and sound marriage. It must have been… must have been a Grace-moment that had us both saying ‘yes’ again to marriage the way it should be. It didn’t happen over-night. It wasn’t always pretty. It wasn’t easy. And it isn’t perfection — but we are in love.

Last weekend — I traveled from Arizona to Colorado. I had been invited by a beautiful woman to come to our old parish in Estes Park and to do the homily and the vows for Elizabeth’s marriage to Michael. I had been delegated (given permission) to do these tasks during a Mass. It was a special honor — and one that doesn’t happen often because the priest is most normally the presider over the liturgy and to be the official witness of the Church for the couple being married. The tender thing to share with you about this invitation was this. Elizabeth said to me many times during our planning that they wanted a holy, sacramental marriage. She said that the reception was simply an opportunity to give people a meal. There were no brides maids — no best man or other men involved in the ceremony. Many non-Catholics attended — and the continuing comment that people shared with me or with the bride and groom was how beautiful — how intimate and holy the marriage ceremony (and Mass) were.

Most of us know of Scott Hahn, the former Protestant Minister and now a prolific Catholic author, professor at Franciscan University — and a happily married family man. I love the way he talks about his beautiful wife, Kimberley. I met Dr. Hahn in Ohio a few years ago as I asked him to autograph a book he had written. I’ve listened to his lectures — but have never had the opportunity to attend a talk by his wife. I did find a quote from Mrs. Hahn in a book she wrote about marriage:

“If you want a successful marriage – and if you want your children to have successful marriages – it is important to live marriage God’s way. He is the one who made us, after all, and he is the one who designed marriage. This is why the queen mother of Proverbs 31 says to her son, ‘Do you know how to recognize a good woman for a wife? Listen carefully to know what to value in a wife; then choose wisely.’”  Kimberly Hahn
Chosen And Cherished: Biblical Wisdom For Your Marriage, Servant Books

And I would add only this — intend to choose a spouse for life.

Blessings.

Deacon Tom
www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicvitamins.com
www.catholicmoments.com
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In this episode:  The Catholic Family retools the show: Living Simply Within Your Means, giving campaigns, separating the kids, movies, school’s back in session, tuba Christmas, reading the bible with your kids.

Links in this episode:

http://www.excellenceinwriting.com/

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Final Song: Adrina Thorpe – Did You Think

Episode Graphic: Simplicity by todo-el-mundo

We have a person in our family who has been through a lot. She is twice divorced and currently a single mom. She is raising a teen and two young children. She has become quite toughened by life experiences, some resulting from impetuous decisions she’s made. She has often said she has virtually lost the capability to cry any more. Now while she is a very good and caring person, and does things for the poor and needy, things don’t deeply move her or touch her heart. I think this is so sad, and we pray for this person quite a bit.

On the other hand, I am an unabashed softy. So many things move me and get me ‘verklempt.’ Many months ago on the Catholic Mom site, I wrote a column on the Gift of Tears — and would you believe I’m still getting email about the words I shared there? There are a number of us who are touched — or pricked by a beauty unseen by others.

I guess there would be a goodly segment of the world, especially the macho men who would say you don’t have to cry to be a nice person. True enough.

There are things that quickly touch my heart, and I wonder if you have such areas? Not the same ones as I have of course. But do you have special areas of tenderness?

Yesterday, my wife and I went to a Christmas chorale concert. For our small town, this is a wonderful group — 70 some strong. Men and women and some teens — all who love to sing. They have auditioned and when chosen, they have rehearsed for months to put on two shows at Christmas and two shows in the Spring.

When 70 people blend their voices to share beautiful Christian hymns — and a number of nice commercial holiday tunes — this softens me up for Christmas. There must have been 300 appreciative people in the audience, and we stood at the conclusion of the uplifting seasonal concert.

Speaking of music — one of my all-time favorite Christmas CD’s is called WINTERFALL. The music is led by Lee Spears and Donna Beck Michael and was produced and published by Thistlegate Productions. This album features a hammered dulcimer, piano, guitar, English horn and a cello. On a website called Christmasreviews.com, a Carol Swanson wrote these words, “This excellent recording is minimalist instrumental folk music of the sweetest kind. The music is oh-so-soothing and even life-affirming. This recording is not fearful of silence, letting thoughtful pauses speak volumes… I have two favorite cuts on Winterfall, and they are the final two on the disc. “Midnight Clear” (”It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”) is an exquisite arrangement, an intensely beautiful mélange built upon a complex and fragile structure.” Swanson concludes her review: “Winterfall is an excellent Christmas CD. In a high-anxiety world of over-cranked volumes, this recording is a breath of fresh winter air.” We played a little bit from one of the cuts of this CD on our Catholic Vitamin N – Nativity program released recently.

Why consume so many words about a CD you may never hear? Because to listen to this CD is to experience what Carol Swanson and the Deke and his daughter have experienced. It touches us and says the season of Christ’s birth is almost here’ when we start playing Winterfall.

Oh — one more (almost silly) thing as I think about music. Many years ago I found an inexpensive album with the late John Denver and the Muppets. It’s called A CHRISTMAS TOGETHER. As hokey as the Muppets may sound when talking about Christmas music, I really enjoy some of the cuts, e.g. The Peace Carol and a wonderful gospel-sounding song, “When the River Meets the Sea.”

As I began the thought process of preparing this piece for the Catholic Family site, my thoughts were about asking you if your heart is hardened at and by the Christmas season? Have you lost the capability to be moved by It’s a Great Life when you see a replay of that movie? Have you lost the capability to smile deeply by children in a nativity play? Have you lost the capability to see beauty in a season when you’ve got gifts to buy and wrap and decorations to put up and not enough real help around the house?

I would bet that the Infant of Bethlehem wouldn’t wish that upon you. He’d love for you to be happy and be open enough to be touched by the Christmas message once again. In the song When the River Meets the Sea, there are these words, “We are born and born again most gracefully… when the river meets the Almighty Sea.”
You and I are the river. We are invited to see and contribute to the beauty of God’s work on earth. You and I might do well to ask the Lord for a special gift this Christmas: “Lord — in some way, let us hear the angels who sing for you also sing for us. Just as the angels sang to brighten skies over the area of your birth, and were heard by people waiting in hope, let it be so for us. Whether at a nursing home or in a Christmas concert or a child’s tender efforts at a Christmas gift for us… Lord, let Your music of this season and of renewal touch our hearts.

Blessings again.
Deacon Tom
www.catholicvitamins.com
www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmoments.com
www.catholicmom.com

In this episode, the Catholic Family Kids have a little fun. Since they deleted the shownotes, who knows what they are talking about?

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In this episode: Wood Badge, Confirmation,  Catholic Charlotte Mason idea, Director of Planned Parenthood resigns, Mail Bag: Dee from,  AZ, Pamella from Glasgow. Final Song: Flame of Freedom by Grandbury Live.

One of the topics that I think I need to write about every once in a while is the brokenness of the Church. Those of us in new media — we don’t do this very much… we keep a pretty positive profile on our output and sharing. And yet — most of can see and experience things that tell us that there is a brokenness in us. And if there’s a brokenness in us — there most certainly is some measure of brokenness in our Church. I would want to paraphrase what follows — and you may not agree with some of these thoughts that were just sent to me the other day. These are from the late author and speaker Henri J. M. Nouwen:

“Over the centuries the Church has done enough to make any critical person want to leave it. Its history of violent crusades, pogroms, power struggles, oppression, excommunications, executions, manipulation of people and ideas, and constantly recurring divisions is there for everyone to see and be appalled by.

Can we believe that this is the same Church that carries in its center the Word of God and the sacraments of God’s healing love? Can we trust that in the midst of all its human brokenness the Church presents the broken body of Christ to the world as food for eternal life? Can we acknowledge that where sin is abundant, grace is superabundant, and that where human promises are broken over and again, God’s promise stands unshaken? To believe is to answer yes to these questions.”

Ah! Superabundant graces and God’s promises from here into eternity. Now those words give me hope. Those words add balance. Those words tell me the Church isn’t as dark as the bold letters shown above.

Let me share a couple of God’s promises that I have had personal experience with. There was a black priest from Africa. He came to Colorado to attain a doctorate in civil engineering. He is a Dominican priest and his order gave him his Colorado assignment so he could ultimately go back to Africa and work on water purification and land hydration issues. He wasn’t assigned to our parish, but he came as a visiting priest a few weekends — and he absolutely set people’s hearts on fire.

This priest’s name is Fr. Marcel Zibognon — and I asked him if he would satisfy a requirement that was imposed on me as a first year deacon candidate. I had to have a priest as a spiritual advisor. Fr. Marcel said he would be ‘so happy’ to do this with me. He said that we would learn to journey together and from each other. How’s that for refreshing hope wrapped in humility? He was exactly what I needed then.

Now here’s what I want to share with you. Fr. Marcel wasn’t always an on-fire Catholic. He told me that as a young teen, he was leading a life of self-pleasure, hedonism and that he had left the practice of the Catholic Church. Despite his self-centered lifestyle, Marcel got involved in a visit to France for World Youth Day. And as I I remember him telling the story, he got to be physically quite close to the Holy Father – and Marcel said he strongly felt something inside inviting him to give up his lifestyle.

Fr. Marcel says there was such Christian magnetism, radiated holiness and such a call to action that it was like an aura that surrounded Pope John Paul. That one exposure led Marcel to go through a profound life-changing conversion. He went to Confession, started back to the sacraments – he started praying about what to do with his life. And then he felt the call to the priesthood. And in the superabundant dole of graces from the Lord, Fr. Marcel helped dozens… no hundreds of us to try to be better believers.

The second story also relates to John Paul II — and I do this because it is my premise for this article that where and when necessary, God restores, rebuilds, shores-up or renovates His Holy Catholic Church. And much of the restoration comes about from abundant  ‘infused’ graces.

Were you aware that John Paul II, as pope also did a World Youth Day event in Colorado in the 1980’s? Did you read or has anyone told you the effect that the Holy Father had on young people? We’ll never know the number of vocations and re-versions to the faith from Colorado, like Father Marcel’s experience that happened in France. But here’s another nugget.

There is a beautiful retreat center called St. Malo north and west outside of Denver. It is picturesque, surrounded by mountains and hiking trails through the national forests in that area. After WYD in Denver, they took the Holy Father up to St. Malo for a day and a half of rest and restoration. There are pictures of the Pope’s visit there. It looked funny to see the pope’s familiar long white garment on with tennis shoes sticking out the bottom. Down about 500 yards from the retreat center is Colorado Highway number 7.

Some former parishioners who lived near St. Malo told us that Holy Father John Paul was out walking along the side of Highway 7.  Traffic was coming to a stand-still along the highway. Can you imagine Fred and Ethel driving along and Fred sees what looks like the Pope walking along the road? Ethel might reply, “Oh you’re crazy — a priest maybe – but not the Pope!” Well — it turns out to be true — the Pope was walking long the highway and spending time talking with astounded tourists. Think how people there at St. Malo were touched by his presence. And Denver which for a time had to close its one seminary now has two vibrant and very active seminaries. Two seminaries! Thank you John Paul the Great. Thank you Lord God for the abundant graces which passed from you through the late Holy Father.

Can those who feel that the Church is completely broken possibly, just possibly end feelings of dissatisfaction and remoteness from the Church and its leadership?  Can we recognize the mostly invisible but all-too-powerful presence of Jesus in His Church? His sometimes broken, ponderous, centralized, but Christ-filled Church. But where Jesus is — and I hope you will see Jesus inside the Sacraments and in many if not most of the clergy — where Jesus is, there too is his Mother. So it’s not all male dominated who are hung up on this objection. And you ought to meet the on-fire and highly educated and powerful nuns in the Denver Archdiocese. You ought to meet the high-powered, in-love-with-the-Church-women of the ENDOW Organization: Educating on the Nature and Dignity of Women.

One reason that St. Augustine cites for his entry into the Catholic Church is the never-ending, hope-filled prayers of his mother Monica.

Whatever your marital status – whoever you are – how about if we agree that it might be time to consider having two women in our lives? Holy Mother Mary can be one of them… and the other is the humanly imperfect but divinely powered Holy Mother Church.

Your Church is no more totally broken — any more than society is completely broken.  There is hope built upon the promises of Christ: Behold, I will be with you till the end of time.

In this episode, David flies solo, sans Allyson. Review of The Dragon’s Eye: The Dragonology Chronicles, Volume One by Dugald A. Steer (Author), Douglas Carrel (Illustrator), Catholic Vitamins, 40 Days for Life, Pat Gohn – Among Women,  Ask Sammy: Why Sammy Got Kicked Out of Heaven,  Final Song: The Only One by Ten Nine courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network, now known as Mevio. Graphic: Spitfire Airplane by Molock67

I’ve often wondered about the average age of those who listen to David and Allyson’s podcast. I would guess — although the Sweeneys would know better — I would guess that they have a wide range of audience — but most would be in their 30’s and 40’s. What do you think?

I ask about this because if this is true about the age range, then it’s likely that almost none of the audience has had to face the tough, tough decisions related to putting a parent into a nursing home. It may sound like a down-subject, but please stick with this column. I had to face this issue some years ago with my mom. She had end-stage congestive heart failure and she cycled in and out of serious ‘health-crashes.’ The medical team at the hospital under the direction of mom’s doctor pretty much decided that she would be passing soon. But it could be a week or a month or more. I was the only child left from our family and we lived on the west coast while mom lived in Detroit. My wife and I both had careers so it was a guilt-ridden time in our lives. We placed mom in an east-Detroit nursing home where she had some good days and some days of labored breathing.

Eventually, mom did pass and we had the funeral Mass at her church (Queen of Peace in Harper Woods, Michigan). The Mass was celebrated by mom’s favorite priest, Fr. Lentini who had known and pastored mom for many earlier years. We then faced the quick decisions necessary about shutting down the physical presence of a person’s life. We put her condo up for sale… my wife Dee and I went through her things.

A lot went to a nearby monastery which had a thrift shop for the needy. Many larger things we shipped to our daughters and to our own home in the San Francisco area.

As I said, this may sound like a not-so-pleasant topic to be writing a column about. Well — there is a purpose to this, and first I share that in this kind of time in your life, you do what you have to do and you move on. Mom has had more Masses said for her… she (and my late father and brother) are mentioned almost daily in my own Mass intentions. So overall — I hope and feel that mom is in heaven although I still pray for God’s mercy for her.

This topic leads me to another story that I really wanted to share with you. As deacon, the pastor has asked me to visit a nearby elder-care nursing home. I take Holy Communion to a group of eight to ten residents. One of the men is a priest who is struggling with what would appear to be an early form of dementia. He wants my help to ‘leave’ this facility. I told him I can’t do that but that I would be happy to come and be a deacon if he did a daily Mass in his room. As I left him, he said, “Come here – let me give you my blessing.”  He laid hands on me and gave me a great and meaningful blessing. It was very nice and pastoral of him.

But here’s the real heart of this column and the story I wanted to get to. One lady — I would guess her to be about 70 or a little more… she is in nearly full-blown dementia, and she’s in a lock-down area.

I’ve taken her Communion several times. And recently – she’s been sleeping and refused to get up — she hasn’t wanted the Eucharist. The other day, I went through my rounds, and when I got to this lady, Eleanor’s room, her door was firmly shut. It seemed odd. So I went to the nurse’s station and asked about Eleanor. The attendant said, “Oh she’s sleeping a lot and she doesn’t get up until about lunch time.”  I looked at my watch and it wasn’t even eleven AM yet… but I decided to see how she was doing. I knocked on the door — and woke her up.

True to recent practice, she didn’t want to receive Holy Communion and she said she didn’t feel very well. Rather than leave her — I asked if she’d mind if I said a prayer over her? She didn’t refuse so I blessed myself and her and I recited the Our Father. She became a little bit more ‘present’ to this visit and I started talking to her about how things were going. She told me — in a rather confused narration that she didn’t feel very good most of the time… but that she really loved the Catholic Church and the Mass. She kept calling me ‘Father,’ even though I had told her I was a deacon a couple times.

I struggled to keep conversation going — asking her where she was from before Arizona. The answer was Indiana — from South Bend. I asked if she was from near Notre Dame and she smiled and said, “Oh Yes!” I asked her about her parish and about any priest she remembered back there. She did have a church name that came out quickly — and she mentioned a priest name a couple times. She said she loved it when he said Mass.

Now what I want you to know is that during a part of this more animated conversation, she had taken one of my hands and she kept holding on to it. She became more interested in what we were talking about although, quite frankly — her mind did wander. But she was enjoying the sharing.

Finally — she took my other hand — she held both of my hands quite tightly. It would have taken effort to remove my hands. She started saying, “Thank you… thank you for coming to visit me. I’ve enjoyed this so much. Thank you.” She was very animated and her face looked radiant for these moments.

And as I watched her speaking to me – it came to me in a firm image that this was Jesus. He said he’d be the one we visit when we visit the sick and the dying. He said it would be Him whom we visit in prison. He said we wouldn’t always recognize Him — and sometimes we won’t get the reward that I got the other day… because you know what happened to me?

Jesus wouldn’t let go of my hands. It was awesome!

Blessings.

Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com

www.catholicvitamins.com

www.catholicmoments.com

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In this episode:  Who  is CFP? Laundry Soap Update,  Baby Update, Why did Satan get kicked out of Heaven? New parochial vicar – Fr. Phi, ghostly albs, What does the Catholic Church say about ghosts? Movie Review: Incredible Mr. Limpet, Mail Bag: Jim from Monkey in the Middle Podcast, Mary from MN, Dee from AZ

Links in this episode:

Raising Olives

Texas Homeseader

Final Song: Transmission – I Know a Fount

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In this episode:  Armor Games, Moshi Monsters, Review of Uglies by Scott Westerfeld, Review of The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley, Catholic Vitamins, Mattie Claire, Voicemail from Mary, Paul from New York

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http://www.addictinggames.com/ngame.html
http://www.andkon.com/arcade/
http://www.moshimonsters.com/

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In this episode:  We need a beer! Homeschool Share dotcom,  laundry soap, Parenting – Teach Your Children 12 Ways to Live a Life with No Regrets by Bob and Cheryl Moeller, Mailbag:  Mary from MN, Cheri from South Dakota,  Dr. Jim Beeghley,  Petra, Pat from IN, Lisa Hendey

Links in this episode:

http://homeshoolshare.com/
http://www.mommiesmagazine.com/cheryl-moeller/667/
http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/PylWond.html
http://www.siministries.org
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Final Song: Jimmie Bratcher: Right Side of the Tracks on the Podsafe Music Network

Graphic: Blue Moon by froggynaan

In this episode: The floating raft explained, Feature Films for Families: Down and Derby, Kidless, Structure/No Structure,  Matthew’s Baptism, Church Chat: 1st Peter Chap 3v8, Homemade Laundry Detergent, Email: Tina, Greg,  Mary.

Links in this episode:

http://www.familytv.com/

http://myaudiojournal.blogspot.com/

http://raisingolives.com/

http://raisingolives.com/2009/03/homemade-laundry-soap/

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In this episode: The kids return to the show with a special kids edition. We are NOT podfaders!, Austin reviews summer camp and  being Troop 159 chaplain, Austin and Luke review video – Down and Derby, Hannah reviews Lightning Thief,  Kathryn reviews Septamus Heap series, Kathryn and Hannah discuss theater camp,  Luke’s Jokes,  CNMC

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Final Song: Sarah Bauer – Extraordinary

In this episode:  The Catholic Family returns after a 5 week hiatus; Baby Update, Kathryn’s Program, All about Food.

Links in this episode:

SQPN Connect

Sarah Bauer

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Final Song:  Sarah Bauer: Radiance

Now – one of my habits – and it does annoy some folks when I underline sentences in books that I own. Sometimes I dog-ear the pages as an aid to find the underlines. All of a sudden I feel like Andy Rooney telling you about this habit of mine. Do you do this? Or are you a Ph.D. purist about books: don’t bend the spine, don’t write in them, leave the dust jackets on, etc.?

Let me tell you about two of the books that I have really abused. I do this to recommend books you may wish to take on a vacation with you. I’m hoping that you do take some inspirational reading with you as well as some escapism reading.

For inspiration – I recommend these two books:

-Living the Catholic Faith – Rediscovering the Basics by Archbishop Charles Chaput; Servant Publications, Ann Arbor, Michigan   (and)

-Grace in Every Season – Daily Reflections (Through the Year) with Catherine Doherty; Madonna House Publications, Combermere, Ontario, Canada.

There are probably no books in my relatively dense library of books – no books which are more underlined and dog-eared than these two. Here’s why and here are examples.

For Archbishop Chaput (who is the bishop that ordained me) – he lays out a wonderfully readable book that invites and challenges the reader to look at the Catholic faith they profess. And from a guided way of looking at faith aspects – the bishop asks you to pray and consider your reply. Here’s an example from page 136 of Chaput’s book in a chapter titled “The Family As Leaven:” (In a series of recommendations or ideas for the Catholic family, Archbishop Charles says): “Sixth, teach your children to develop the virtues of the heart. Help them to value fidelity instead of broken promises; patience instead of restlessness; simplicity in place of confusion; humility instead of pride; courage in place of cowardice; honesty instead of excuses; forgiveness in place of revenge; a hunger for justice in place of apathy. And seventh, teach your children to revere the sanctity of life.”

Whether you are yet to have children… or you have them and this is a handful to expect from where you are… or if you are a grandparent who does occasional babysitting, these are suggestions and challenges that can lead to loving Catholic Christian hearts in young people. One other quote from the Archbishop that I have used many times in my preaching: “… God doesn’t need ‘nice’ Christians, Christians who are personally opposed to sin, but too polite to do anything about it publicly.” BINGO!

Now Catherine’ Doherty’s book is a wonderful daily inspirational and reflective sort of book. Most topics are about one page.

And it’s on a variety of things to ponder and let wash over your satisfaction with where you are and what you’ve been doing. There are about 310 pages in this book – and I’d guess I’ve dog-eared 200 pages… maybe more. I’ve written about this particular topic here at Catholic Family – it seems so apropos for mulling over during summer: “Christian recreation is truly re-creation, a renewal, a re-gathering, a re-collection… it doesn’t mean doing nothing… Recreation is to re-create, to make new. It is done with God, for God, for his honor and glory.” The rest of Catherine’s reflection is about things that one might do on vacation – done with an eye to becoming a new person when you return to home and work. Let me assure you that swimming, sunning, reading a book – these are all part of her examples of God-based re-creation. Imagine swimming for God!

As I complete this column for you who visit the Catholic Family website – I will take your intentions with me as I leave for a while. My wife Dee & I will be doing some marathon driving; we don’t mind too much. We’ll be in Springfield, MO visiting our daughter and family. I’ll go to Franciscan University in Steubenville, OH for an annual priest and deacon retreat and conference. Dee will go on to Bedford County, PA to visit her mom and family and I’ll join them when I finish my retreat. And finally, we’ll leave the east coast area and drive to San Antonio, TX for the Catholic New Media Conference, sponsored by SQPN. You know you’re invited – and many famous podcasters will be there. [We may have to stop near College Station, TX and help midwife a baby while David is away. I’m not a doctor and I don’t play one on TV… but I’m up for this assignment! Pray for the Sweeney’s, okay?]

Blessings. See you in July! Happy Re-creating! Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmoments.com
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In this episode: David’s tomatoes,  baby update, Clothesline and clothespin bag, hammer down,  parenting tip of the week, Deacon Tom’s article on praying together, Mail Bag; Patrick in Michigan, Sean the Duct-Tape-Guy, Catholic New Media Celebration

Link to Clothespin Bag Allyson likes

Final Song: Hammer Down by Wiser Time

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1. Have them read the back of the Loreal Preference Box.  It has the best sentence structure.
2. They must pray before meals.  Otherwise, starve them until they pray for mercy.
3. Be consistent.  If you aren’t, you might mess up and not cover all of the gray.
4. Teach them how to handle money, but don’t tell them how much the house cost.  That way you can deduct more rent from their allowance.
5. Go on a date.  If with your spouse, go somewhere cheap like Taco Bell or a bookstore.
6. Do something fun and different with your kids.  If they don’t like it, take them on a forced march through the forest.  Don’t forget the first aid kits!
7. Child labor laws don’t apply at home.  Get free labor out of them or the pets die!
8. Teach them to serve others without expecting anything back.  Otherwise your hair will go gray.  Just look what happened to your poor Mother!
9. Don’t give in to peer pressure.  If they do, throw them off the pier and feed them to the sharks, along with all of the other naked people.
10. Practice what you preach.  Or color your hair.  Which ever is easiest.

In this episode: David and Allyson review the top 10 issues (tips?) they had during the past year. Allyson undergoes a miraculous transformation. David finds a trade.

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Children Learn What They Live

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It is interesting to me that Father Peyton wrote his autobiography and titled it All For Her – and he had such great devotion to the Rosary and to the Blessed Virgin Mary, as did the late, great John Paul II. And you likely remember the late pope’s motto which was Totus Tuus: ‘totally yours.’ This was a statement of devotion to Mary.

Let me quote from Fr. Pat’s book:

I was born on January 9, 1909, in a picturesque valley in County Mayo in the west of Ireland. On one side were the Ox Mountains; on the other was the Atlantic Ocean.

From my earliest memories, I saw my father with the Rosary beads in his hands and my mother holding hers. My older brothers and sisters and I knelt around them, praying. Father began with the Sign of the Cross, then the Apostles’ Creed, the Our Fathers, the Hail Marys, the Glory Be’s. What impressed me most was the voice of my mother talking to Mary: “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.”

For the first 19 years of my life, this was our daily practice as I grew from childhood to boyhood to my teens.

In good times and bad, in sickness and health, in poverty and hard work, we ended each day speaking to Jesus and His Mother, offering them the greatest tribute that could possibly be given, making the greatest act of faith, and honoring Mary above all the angels and saints.

Because of the daily family Rosary, my home was for me a cradle, a school, a university, a library and, most of all, a little church.”

For the sake of space, I’ll just summarize a bit of the story of this Irishman who became the leader of the Family Rosary Crusade. This prayer effort to promote the rosary and family prayer began a journey to fame and holy success when the Mutual Radio Broadcasting Network (the largest radio network at that time) offered a half hour radio broadcast to the entire United States. The first broadcast was on Mother’s Day and Fatima Day, May 13th, 1945. The show was reported to be one of the most listened to – most favored broadcasts ever. Fr. Peyton had a winning format for his radio broadcasts – he got a number of famous movie stars, bishops and other leaders to come to the studio and participate in prayer. They were often interviewed and it was a most popular approach to this Catholic devotion. Imagine trying this today!

Fr. Peyton built up the devotion to family prayer and the rosary throughout the U. S. and later around the world. There is a story told as follows. Once in Bogota, Columbia, as he had completed a Crusade and was mingling with the crowd, a young priest laughed at him and cried out, “Father Pat, the people need bread and meat and you give them rosaries.” In gentle Irish fashion, Fr. Peyton said, “Son, they need both bread for the body and bread for the soul.”

I mention this bit of biography and history about Fr. Peyton for a couple reasons – to remind us how much we have lost… most of us anyway. The motto of Fr. Peyton’s Rosary Crusade was, “The Family That Prays Together, Stays Together.”

Some people might respond that they pray a night prayer with their children… something like, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” Perhaps in later years, an Our Father and or a Hail Mary… but consider the testimony and example that Fr. Peyton gave to us. My wife Dee and I pray Evening Prayer (Liturgy of the Hours) together just about every night. We pray this together and voice our petitions for family, the sick and other intentions we carry in our hearts. This has made a big difference – a very big difference in our lives and devotion and faith.

Yet I have encouraged Dee that we need to do the rosary together more often. And in that vein – I encourage members of the Catholic Family Podcast to try – try adding more prayer together. Don’t feel as if you have to do it all. Take a small segment of prayer and be faithful to it. Perhaps start with a decade of the rosary – along with a different intention each time you do it.

When kids share in prayer intentions – the poor… the needy… deceased members of the family… for orphans… for peace – it gives them a holy and world connectedness far beyond saying a single Hail Mary at bedtime.

Archbishop Charles Chaput says, “Raising a family is heroic work.” You can be a spiritual hero if you lead the effort to bring more prayer into your family – all of the family, together. Please remember to pray for our bishops, priests, deacons and nuns. And the souls in Purgatory.

Thank you… May your family stay together – in good times and in bad. Dedicate yourself to Mary and ask for her help. Blessings.

Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmoments.com
www.catholicmom.com

In this episode: Family Life; Working in the Yard, Lara’s Texas Homesteader, Allyson contemplates a year without makeup, Recycling, Catholic School Reunion, Church Life; Confirmation Retreat, Luke’s First Communion, Mailbag; Debbie from Texas

Links in this episode:

• http://www.texashomesteader.com/
• http://recyclingbin.com/
• http://steepandcheap.com/

Final Song: Telemann: Trio Sonata in D minor by the Voices of Music

Christ is risen… Alleluia. He is truly risen… Alleluia! Hello and blessings once again. The theme that’s in my heart (again) is how this season leads many of us (well me at least – and a few others that I am in contact with) to want to ‘green up’ their lives… add some spring thinking to their souls. For some, we are so glad to be finished with Lent. And gosh, wasn’t it long this year?

Last year at this time, I wrote about a ‘resurrection’ in our attitudes towards women. I wrote about using the E-5 Program which calls men to fast and pray for their wives… their girlfriends (if not married)… and for daughters and sisters and cousins and granddaughters… praying also for women of past relationships. I think my feelings about this topic are there for a number of reasons.

First – how vividly I remember Mel Gibson’s portrayal of Mary and the women in his Crucifixion movie of a few years back. Mary virtually ‘floated’ through the movie and especially at Christ’s most potent hours – the way of the Cross and his crucifixion. A good wife – a good mother sometimes ‘floats’ from need to need and service to service – always where she is called.

And then, there are those Scripture images of the (sleep-deprived) women coming at first dawn light to anoint the precious body of Jesus. There is the image of Mary Magdalene asking the ‘gardener’ if he knew where they had taken ‘her Lord.’ We are told Christ’s resurrection was announced to women first. Women were so faithful throughout the life of Jesus. How many women are up during the night, only to be up early with their chores at the start of a new day?

Easter is all about Christ’s victory over death – we know this. Yet don’t women seem to add a special grace and beauty to Easter? My heart is filled with love for today’s women of Christ as we all go to Church on Easter. I love the little girls in their Easter dresses and some with hats or bonnets. I love that many women seem to want to dress up on this day: “Greetings Risen Lord – I bring you praise and worship in my better Easter clothes!” In their finery, women add to the beauty of what Christ has accomplished for all of us.

This leads me to a theme that I find myself returning to quite often… I hope I don’t bore you. It would be my prayer that this Easter season leads us to a resurrection of the dignity of the women in our lives and in our families… a resurrection in our prayers and attitudes about women of our past.

And to share what I’m getting at – let me re-tell a story from when I was in the seminary. At that time, we deacon candidates were studying and working on many things – our spirituality, our knowledge of Scripture… philosophy, theology… the Catechism. Yet, we were always working on our marriages… working to improve our love and our expression of total gift of self to the other.

One weekend when we were on retreat at the St. Malo Retreat Center outside of Estes Park in Colorado, husbands and wives were together for a liturgy. A good friend name Joe Gerber was assigned to preach a ‘homilette’ that evening. The Gospel readings had to do with marriage but they could well have had to do with women in general.

Joe spoke about Blessed Virgin Mary as the first ‘bearer’ of Christ – and how our wives are bearers of Christ to their families in these times. Joe did something that has stuck with me for all these years. Without having arranged this before hand – he called his wife Julie to come forward and Joe came down and around in front of Julie. He said, “Julie, I now recognize Christ in you – and I honor Christ truly present in you.” Joe then genuflected to Christ’s presence in his wife. WOW! Did Joe ever get it – this is the truth.

I share with you in this column – asking you to help return the sense of dignity to our wives and the other girls and women in our lives. Sure it’s okay to kibitz and fool around – for many of us that is our real style. But in some and certain ways – let our daughters, our granddaughters and especially our wives know that we believe they are the bearers – the current generation bearers of the resurrected Christ.

Blessings of Easter. Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com

www.catholicmoments.com

www.catholicmom.com

In this episode:  Luke makes his first reconciliation, tie dying the baby’s onsies, camping and parenting tips – no sarcasm, review of The  Wonder Clock by Howard Pyle, Triduum podcasts, Mail Bag: Mary From MN, Deacon Tom,  Kathryn gives ‘thumbs up’ for Kitt Kittridge – American Girl movie

Don’t for get the SQPN Giving Campaign or the Catholic New Media Celebration

Final Song: Sing Hosanna to the Son of David, Tewkesbury Abbey Scola

Tewkesbury Abbey Schola Cantorum, Benjamin Nicholas, Carleton Etherington
“Hosanna to the Son of David” (mp3)
from “Thomas Weelkes: Sacred choral music”
(Delphian Records)

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Rhapsody
Buy at Napster
Stream from Rhapsody
More On This Album

2009 Triduum Special: The liturgical meaning and music of Holy Saturday.  Credits to Linda Armstrong and the choristers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Plantersville, TX. Music from GIA used with permission.

2009 Triduum Special: The liturgical meaning and music of Good Friday.  Credits to Linda Armstrong and the choristers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Plantersville, TX. Music from GIA used with permission.

2009 Triduum Special: The liturgical meaning and music of Holy Thursday.  Credits to Linda Armstrong and the choristers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Plantersville, TX. Music from GIA used with permission.

In this episode:  The kids want more bandwidth, Allyon’s reunion, Spring Break, Parenting Tip: Getting the Kids to Bed, Shakespearian Movie,  Church Life: Stations of the Cross. Final Song: Stabat Mater- Haydn.

Links in this episode:

Stations of the Cross
Stations for Children
Link to the words for the Stabat Mater and real audio link
Pronounciations of the Latin
Stations of the Cross in Groom, TX
Wikipedia Stations of the Cross
Catholic Roundup on uStream
March 28th – uStream
http://catholicroundup.com/

Final Song: Stabat Mater from “Haydn: Symphony No. 44 in E Minor
Anna Maria Bondi, Claudia Eder, Axel Reichardt, Jürg Krattinger, Arlette Heudron, Chorale Philippe-Caillard, Jean Bridier, Orchestre Les Solistes de Paris, Henri-Claude Fantapié
“Stabat Mater” (mp3)
from “Haydn: Stabat Mater, Symphony No. 44 in E Minor, Concerto in F Major, Libera Me, Domine”
(Divine Art)

More On This Album

In this episode: Podcasting by the seat of their pants, David and Allyson talk about the new baby, parenting kids after 9pm and lots of poop issues.

Green Mountain Diapers

Very Baby

Call our comment line at 206-339-8993

email us [at] catholicfamilypodcast.com

Hello Catholic Family members. Lenten blessings and ‘can’t we go get a coffee and a piece of peach pie somewhere?’ Greetings.

If you are using many of the wonderful SQPN or other Catholic websites – you are aware that Lent is everywhere. Priests and deacons and e-family members giving you Lenten ideas and suggestions. Are you hearing or reading what they are saying? Doesn’t it seem like there are a lot of suggestions? Give this up. Pray this. Meditate on that. Read this. Do this. Take two of these and call me in the morning J. Yikes!

Okay – let me revisit a topic that parishioners hear me talk about often – it’s Madonna House (MH). MH was founded by Servant of God Catherine Doherty and she is being studied by the Church for sainthood. Catherine founded MH in Combermere, Canada and it now has field houses in about 20 locations around the U. S., Canada and other countries. MH is a mostly lay organization founded on the challenge of living Gospel life – everyday… in a most simple manner. Well – a simple, radical manner.

Foundress Doherty talked in very simple ways about doing things that are easy to grasp. Catherine talked about Lent as a great time to ‘Spring Clean Your Heart.”

She recommended working on the simplest of problems which become like sin-clutter in our lives. What kind of things? Impatience, resentments, laziness, jealousy, envy, and coldness towards those we love… they can happen in our day-to- day lives and even become ingrained. You can probably add to the list.

How to get rid of or at least work on these? Catherine told her people to pray and fast… fast and pray. But then she taught the staff that peeling potatoes can be a prayer. Folding laundry with love can be a prayer for the person who will use these clean items. And not ‘snapping back’ at someone (who may even deserve it) – that’s a form of fasting. Doing a small act of sacrifice for another without telling the person it was you – that’s an act of love and a form of fasting combined.

So while you and I may set typical goals (I’ll give up TV or I’ll cut down to one Starbucks a week….) – maybe what we’re really called to consider doing is to make more of our life a life of simple prayer and fasting. Let’s look at a paragraph which describes St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower. “In nine years as a Carmelite nun, Therese (of Lisieux) loved God in the pursuit of her ordinary duties.  With God first in her thoughts, she swept the choir loft, washed clothes, folded altar linens, escorted elderly nuns about the convent, and cut up food for a sister who had difficulty eating.  Unlike other great saints, she did nothing noteworthy.

She did not found an order, build a hospital, or convert an aboriginal tribe. Though the little Sister is very good,” said one of her sisters, “she had never done anything worth speaking about.”

Did you catch what that sister said about the Little Flower: “she had never done anything worth speaking about?” Right… nothing worth speaking about unless you want to consider that she became one of the few great women Doctors of the Catholic Church and a role model for generations of children and men and women. You and I should be so much ‘never doing anything worthwhile.”

And so – between the themes and teachings of Catherine Doherty and St. Therese – we have models – Lenten designers who can give us concepts for day-to-day living in a radical Catholic manner. If you are burned out on Lent already…. Or if you are burned out on traditional Lenten concepts that don’t seem to work for you… would you consider surrendering one or two of those pesky faults and sin-clutter which have taken up residence in your heart?

Please – I need someone to do this with me – I don’t want to do this journey alone. Oh… speaking of Lenten journey – I’ve joined a few folks on another website blog found at http://thesefortydays.blogspot.com/ – please come visit Nissa Gadbois and Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle and others as they work to inspire your Lenten days. Their overall topic for These Forty Days is ‘surrender.’ Hope to see you there.

Meanwhile – I’ll be in prayer for you… blessings. Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com

www.catholicmoments.com

www.catholicmom.com

www.thesefortydays.blogspot.com

In this episode: The kids’ camping trip, review of Fireproof, service opportunities, baby update, the kids learn to dance, visiting priests, mailbag; Pat from Michigan, Michael Rieken.

Links in this episode:

Quinzhee
Ice Racing
Graphic: Saint Maximillian Kolbe by lordshadowblade

SQPN Catholic New Media Celebration June 27th, 2009 in San Antonio Texas

contact us @ catholicfamilypodcast [dot] com or call the comment line at 206-339-8993

Final Song:  Steady On: The Winds of Your Grace

Hello dear members of the Catholic Family Podcast Family. And from what I see and hear – many of you are also members of the greater SQPN Family: listening to other podcasts, becoming members of their families as well. If you are new to all of this – welcome. I hope you come to know and care for the podcasters, their personal families and their extended families as much as we have.

For those who have been around for awhile – do you remember when Greg (of www.gregandjennifer.com and Rosary Army and the Catholics Next Door fame on XM Satellite Radio) was training to run a marathon in Georgia? He helped inspire many to support him with prayers and best wishes. He also helped inspire many of us to want to do some good things for our bodies. And wasn’t it fun to hear the sound-scene-recording of Greg’s race day? Wasn’t it great witness to hear how much Jennifer and family were there encouraging – cheering Greg on to the finish? It was so wonderful to hear Jennifer’s loving congratulations to her husband as he completed the goal! (Congrats on daughter Lilly, too!)

And then what happened? Well, I remember our own resident (fearless) Catholic Family Podcast leader, David Sweeney working and getting physically active. He did quite a bit of training and then David accomplished a half-marathon. Thanks David for your example and call for us to do good things with the gift of our bodies.

And friend Lisa Hendey (From www.catholicmoments.com and www.Catholicmom.com) – she started work on a grueling prep program for doing a race in southern California. She gave us regular updates on her progress until she did her race. Lisa has since added a personal trainer to help buff and shape.

Good job Lisa! Good job all! You SQPN podcasters caught and taught the ‘family’ spirit and helped demonstrate what it means to be a walking (or in this case ‘running’) Gospel witness.  (Now I could break into a sidebar story here and talk about pregnancies – another thing sweeping the SQPN family. But I won’t.)

You podcasters demonstrated something else. As with the clergy or with lay leaders in our Church – you have demonstrated what it means to give witness – and to share in the responsibility – the mantle of good example and leadership in the Body of Christ. And it is a mantle that needs to be continually shared.

In this year of St. Paul – the Holy Father and Church leaders are suggesting that we pray to… we look to and study writings of this leader who inspired hundreds of thousands of Gentiles. Paul was a podcaster before there ever was a computer or an internet.

One of Paul’s teaching approaches was his use of a racing metaphor to share with us that being a Christian requires effort – discipline – regular workouts. There are many PACE Catholics or Christians… you know what PACE means? Palms, Ashes, Christmas and Easter. That’s the ‘pace’ regimen they set for themselves. And while our loving God will be the final judge of every man and woman – I wouldn’t want to rest my hope of eternal happiness if I only set a ‘pace’ of four visits a year to Church.

Wherever you and I are as we run the race towards eternal life with Christ – we know that a regular routines of spiritual exercise will help get you into better shape. Recently, Lisa Hendey encouraged listeners to consider adding a daily Mass – perhaps just starting with one day a week.

David and Allyson give warm and great witness by the many ways they support the needs of their parish. And for years, the Willits family gave us example and encouragement to ‘make them, pray them, and to give them away.” They were of course speaking of the Rosary. Greg and Jennifer reminded many of us that closeness to Mary isn’t something that comes just from Mary. We need to spend time …. exercising and growing our relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mother just as we need to do with our own spouse.

On a recent interview on Relevant Radio – I talked about the simple act of surrendering ten minutes or more of sleep and getting up to spend completely quiet time with the Lord. This is nothing new – it isn’t something I created. I remember a very, very busy Colorado pastor – a popular, in demand pastor who did a lot of good in my old state of residence. More than once I heard him talk about getting up early in the morning – having a steaming mug of coffee and spending quiet time in silence – listening for the Lord to speak to him. Then, he went into prayer.

Is there any area of spiritual sluggishness that you’ve carried over from the old year? Would you consider starting a new ‘exercise’ program? Let me know what you’re doing… it may help inspire me. And I’ve noticed a few ounces of sluggishness on me. I’m waiting to hear your witness.

Blessings.

Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com

www.catholicmoments.com

www.catholicmom.com  

In this episode: family here for Christmas,  the three gifts, kids plan camping trip, a surprise present for the SQPN audience, Mail Bag: Deacon Tom, Mary from MN, PMPE

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Contact us @ catholicfamilypodcast.com
Comment Line: 206-339-8993

Don’t forget the Catholic New Media Celebration coming June 27th, in San Antonio, Texas

Artwork: Madonna and Child III by bear48
FInal Song: Allison Crowe – What Child Is This?

A short skit on the epiphany story. Actors: Kathryn, Austin, Hannah and Luke Sweeney, Susannah, Matthew and Jennifer Armstrong.

Wise Men Don’t Gripe by John Cosper

We Three Kings by Derek K. Miller

We Three Kings by Eric Winzenried

We Three Kings graphic by bear48

I don’t want to end the year on a heavy-duty note. But I’ve prepared an end-of-year reflection for my own website (www.deacontomonline.com) and it was done for use on December 29th 2008. And I used the Mass readings of that day and I think they lead us to a proper (although some might say a not so super upbeat) topic for the end of the year or the beginning of a new one. But, I invite you to think with me for a bit.

These words contained in the Gospel for December 29th are the same words mentioned in the past Sunday’s Gospel: “Lord, now let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled; my own eyes have seen the salvation which you prepared in the sight of every people, a light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of your people Israel.” The words of Simeon – the gift given to him: a vision of the Holy One with whom he, Simeon would spend eternity.

And yet – we humans must pass through death to gain access to what God has ready for us. This leads to the theology of the four last things: death, judgment, heaven and hell. A preacher shouldn’t need to spend much time on death because it is about the only unarguable, permanent, proof-positive fact that everyone in the world agrees upon. Yes, Virginia there is a reality called death. For most of us, death will be a liberation from some amount of suffering in our lives (JPII). Death is the ultimate surrender from which none of us can escape. And so, according to the words of the Lord God, pronounced after the sin committed by man at the beginning of his earthly history: “You are dust and to dust you shall return.”

Have you ever been around anyone who has had a near-death experience? Father Dwight Long told a story of his grandfather who was run over by a car… the grandfather saved two of grandsons from harm – but the man himself was crushed… and his internal organs were so damaged that it was impossible to surgically repair him…. And he died. His wife was with him at his hospital bed – and just moments before he died – he came back to consciousness and he looked up to the corner of the ceiling. He said, “Can you see them Esther? They are so beautiful.”

Many of us have heard such stories – people gifted with a vision of what it’s like on the other side… they are given a glimpse of who is waiting for them… or there is an inviting white light… These stories give us comfort – and for some, they may give faith or hope of a better world to come. And what we need to take into our inner belief – what we need to accept and prepare for (by the lives we live) is that heaven is more real – totally real more than anything else we know of here on earth. In fact everything here isn’t real – if by real we mean permanent.

There are enough Biblical and other stories to remind us that heaven is real… and not just from anecdotes. St. Therese, the Little Flower spoke of a vision of heaven where, in heaven, each piece of dust is a jewel. Other holy ones gifted with heavenly or beatific visions have had their lives radically changed. St. Paul was one of them and he tells us that no eye has yet seen what God has ready for those who love Him. And C. S. Lewis in his book The Great Divorce, wrote of souls given a day pass from Purgatory and allowed to visit Heaven. And when they get there – they find they can’t walk on the grass because each blade of grass is like a tiny sword… cutting their feet. It is so much more real than anything experienced in our human life.

And so most Christians will believe or hope — taking comfort that there is a ‘goodness’ waiting for us on the other side. But many ‘believers’ don’t see or can’t accept the reality of judgment… and all-too-many have given up belief in hell. A good God wouldn’t condemn anyone to hell they say. Even some clergy give in and preach such a corrupted gospel.

It is beyond the scope of a short reflection such as this to expound on judgment and hell. I refer you to the Catholic Catechism for a scripturally based teaching on these matters. What is interesting is that there are countless examples of natural laws that no one will ignore or dispute… the law of gravity is but one example. You may dispute that a Good God would create a world in which someone could be killed for ignoring a law of gravity – and if that person wishes to test that law – he’d best be prepared for a smashing demonstration of the permanence of the effect of gravity – and he’d best be prepared for meeting his maker.

It takes no great leap of wisdom to believe that there are moral laws which are as absolute and which have consequences… and if (finally) – one comes to accept the truth of these absolutes, then to keep violating moral laws and expecting God’s eternal forbearance is not a wise position to assume.

In our parish – a few of us will be in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament on New Year’s Eve from 11pm till midnight – welcoming in 2009 in a quiet and peaceful manner. I, for one will spend some time considering these matters. I hope you will do so as well. So – as I prepare this last reflection for 2008 – or thoughts to take into 2009 – I recommend that each of us could spend time meditating upon the realities of
-death
-judgment
-heaven and
-hell.

Thank you David and Allyson for the gift of your faith, your witness, your friendship and your family. May God bless you and the children and all of your worldwide Catholic Family.

Deacon Tom

www.catholicmoments.com

www.catholicmom.com

Artwork: Dove Heart by JoeDrummer77

Music by Brave Combo: Jingle Bells from their album “It’s Christmas, Man!”

Skit copyright by Bob Snook, 2007

Visit Bob’s site for more wonderful Christmas skits.

In this episode: snow in Texas, confirmation class, Linda’s commissioning, Allyson crashes parties, Swiss suicide haven, Deacon Tom’s advice for Advent families, Mailbag: Sean the Ductape Guy, Mary from Minnesota, Christine from MA.

Call the comment line at 206-339-8993 or email us [(a.t.]) catholicfamilypodcast (dot) com

Links in this episode:

TV death highlights Swiss suicide haven

Deacon Tom Online

Final Song:Let it Snow

Eric Winzenried aka Hollywood Drunks

Graphic: Wilma Battlebottom by MaskedMayhem

David’s froat, Allyson’s candy, Kathryn and Austin playing nicely? We’re too hard on the kids, review of Quantum of Solace, 4-H group now getting into podcasting, family Advent wreath, decorating the tree on Christmas Eve? Where do you draw the line? Mail Bag: Pat from Michigan, Catholic New Media Celebration – June 27th, 2009 San Antonio, Texas

4-Hers on the Brazos
Catholic Family Forums

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call our comment line (206) 339-8993

Final Song: Ryan Meyers Band – Walk Away
Podsafe Music Network

So if I put together a column about what Catholic families might do for Advent – one first statement of focus would be on Mary.  Last year at this time, I wrote a Catholic Family (Podcast) column on Las Posadas.
I’d like to repeat a bit of Las Posadas here again. Note in the explanation that the first name mentioned is Mary. You, dear Catholic parents can accomplish wonderful formation for your children if you let the ‘Spirit’ of the Advent season come alive in your hearts and in your home.

There is a tradition in Mexico called Las Posadas. There can be variations on how it is done – but the most common begins nine days before Christmas. These nine days symbolize the time it took for Mary and Joseph to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem. For each of the nine days, the experience of Mary and Joseph looking for lodging at the inns of Bethlehem is reenacted. Participants are divided into two groups which are the ‘pilgrims’ and the ‘innkeepers.’ Pilgrims go from ‘house to house’ (or room to room in your home) carrying lit candles (or flashlights if that’s safer) and singing requests and looking for a room for the Holy Family. This can be done with your own musical ‘creation’ or I’m sure you can find words of a song that begs to be let in and given a room for shelter. At every inn or house the innkeepers refuse the pilgrims.  “No – no go away, into the night for we have no room for you at this inn!” This can be done dramatically or it can be done in song…. On Christmas Eve, the pilgrims are welcomed in at last. They enter and everyone joins in singing a joyful carol. Children and many adults love this festive teaching idea. Children are great at enacting what is part of our Biblical understanding of Christ being shut out. And it often forms a tradition that will endure for years and years – perhaps into generations in families.

Dad can be in one room and speak gruffly: “Go away, you have no money and there is no room here.”
Mom can be in another room as she sweetly sings ‘go away because it is too late and I can’t open the door.’ You can write your own songs or script as you wish. You and your children could act this out once a week – Sundays for example. There should always be an expectant Mary and husband Joseph in this play. In a small family, mom and dad could be the Holy Family and the kids could be the innkeepers.

Okay – some might say, “Well that’s fine and well for some families; our kids are too young or that wouldn’t go for that.” While I really wish you’d give it a try – how about a once-a-week family rosary saying the Joyful Mysteries together? You could write little plays – the Angel Gabriel coming to visit Mary and telling her she’s going to be the Mother of God. Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth; Elizabeth saying that she recognizes that Mary is going to be the Mother of the Savior. The birth of Christ with wise men and cattle coming to adore Him. Jesus being lost. Ooh – isn’t this scary? You could add lots of drama in this Mystery. But always, returning to pray the Our Father and the ten Hail Mary’s.

Finally – and this is so simple. Instead of setting up your complete Nativity set, here’s what some Catholic families do. Put the manger scene under the tree for Advent – except it should be without the Holy Family – obviously without Jesus present. Each Sunday – have a little Advent ceremony consisting of the following. Pick out an Advent song (O Come O Come Emmanuel, Ready the Way, Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, etc.). Sing the song as you and the children light the next Advent candle. And as this is done, let one of the family members ‘move’ Mary (on a donkey) and Joseph closer to the Christmas tree.
Children love this visualization – an easy teaching method that Mary brings Christ to help make Christmas Day. And of course, on Christmas Day, before gifts are opened – Baby Jesus is placed in the manger with a little ceremony.

Jesus came to be the Christmas gift – Jesus gave Himself to the entire world. Your Advent practice might consist of some aspects of giving that involve your family. When Mary became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit – the first thing she did was an act of charity! Mary went to visit her cousin. We know there are many seasonal programs… Coats for Kids, Christmas Giving Trees… If your children are old enough to help make cookies – don’t forget folks in a nursing home or a lonely widow down the street. If your church or community offers a Nativity Play – make sure to involve the kids or at least attend the play. In all of these, Mary, the Mother of Christ is the reason for the (Advent) Season. I hope your children hear this message.

And – may Christ come once again into your heart and into your home. An Advent spent with focus on Mary will most certainly prepare you for a truly Merry and blessed Christmas.

Blessings. Deacon Tom
www.deacontomonline.com
http://catholicmoments.com
http://catholicmom.com

Queen of the malaprops, advice to newly married couples,thanksgiving holidays at the Sweeneys North, Saint of the Day – St. Cecilia, review of The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall, SQPN reverse giving campaign, SQPN groups, teaching confirmation, the start of Advent, goodbye to Greg and Jennifer

Grandma’s Stuffing

• 3 onions
• 1/2 stalk celery
• stick of butter
• 3 packages of Jiffy Cornbread
• 6 pieces white toast (dark)
• 6 eggs scrambled
• 4-6 cups chicken stock
• sage (optional)
• salt/pepper

melt the butter in a skillet and saute the onion and celery until clear, set aside. Break the cornbread up in a large pan. Have the kids crumble the toast up and add. Add sage, salt and pepper. Pour beaten eggs and fold gently. Add 4-6 cups of chicken stock (or bullion) and fold until stuffing shakes like jello. Taste and adjust salt and pepper (go easy on the pepper). Cover with aluminum foil and refrigerate overnight. Next day, bake covered at 350F for 1.5-2.0 hours. Uncover and fluff. Optionally, fold in 1/2 cup of grease from the turkey. Cook for about another 15-20 minutes to crisp top.
Sacco’s Liturgical Calendar

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Final Song: Nathan Long – The Cup
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And so – a while back… on a nice summer day, I had a meeting at the parish office with a lady. I had only spoken to her on the phone. The subject of our meeting was that this lady wanted to secure a letter recommending her to another parish for this lady to be a baptismal sponsor.

When I came to the office – she was waiting. She was beautiful! Tall and slender and dressed in a diaphanous, filmy outer material which covered an attractive yellow print dress. She had long, very long, black hair and large dark eyes. She could have been a model – she certainly looked like one. (Almost as lovely as Allyson!)

Once into our meeting, she began to tell me how she was reared in the Catholic Faith and how it was important to her. She said she read the Bible just about every day… and she did pray every day. It sounded as if she would make a wonderful role model as a baptismal sponsor.

Now I happened to notice that she didn’t say anything about the Mass, so when I got the opportunity to ask about this, she became a wee bit emotional. Her eyes started to moisten as she admitted that her work (in a profession that does have off and on hours) kept her from getting to church as much as she should. But those other things… the Bible reading, the prayers… she even mentioned fasting. I certainly tried to be an understanding deacon as I looked at this diaphanously dressed Catholic lady.

Fade to black… and here comes a later, second session with this lady. It seems she and the other family members wanted to have the baptism at our parish rather than the previously discussed plan. It seems that the other parish wasn’t too welcoming because there is more to the story. The other (parent) family had some church-practice issues. And this proposed baptismal sponsor hadn’t told me everything. It came out that she had been going to another (non-Catholic) church pretty often. AND — she has been married twice, both times in civil marriages. She had never gotten an annulment of her first marriage.

I guess I was flabbergasted that I hadn’t found this out before. As gently as I could, I said it didn’t sound as if she was a practicing Catholic at all. Now I’ve done it. Now the diaphanous lady was really emotional and crying. Why was the church being so legalistic? What was she supposed to do? Stay in a first marriage where she was physically and emotionally abused? And no, she hadn’t been to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And what did I mean she shouldn’t be receiving the Eucharist?

All of a sudden – this model – this beautiful lady was pretty upset with the Catholic Church. It wasn’t loving like some other churches she had been to. Hadn’t Jesus already forgiven our sins?

Dear Catholic Family podcast friends… do you understand what has happened with a sizeable segment of our brothers and sisters who have created a homemade faith tailored exactly to their wishes and circumstances? No rules? No laws. No worries… be happy. Until the Church tries to say, “I’m sorry – that’s not being Catholic.”

Catholics come together each week… it’s not a choice. And in our brokenness and sinfulness – we worship together as family. We do our best to practice what the Lord and the Church teaches. When we fail, we go to Confession. We can’t make up rules like three year old children playing the game Candyland.

You may not know that there are people who practice this sort of Christian faith. But in any way – are you like the lady in the diaphanous dress? Have you created a sort of deodorized Christianity?

We need to pray. We need to evangelize. We need to give example and be willing to state with firmness what we believe… who we are. I’d like to hear from you. I really would.

Blessings. Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com

http://catholicmoments.com

www.catholicmom.com

In this episode: Abundant Blessings, making bows, groceries,  we’re winners, Why are we so blessed?  All Souls Gloria? Mailbag: Deacon Tom, Deaconette Dee’s 70th birthday,  Debbie from Falls Church VA. Big thank you goes out to April Swenson for the chocolate-covered pretzels.

Links in this episode:

Sweeney’s House Blessing

In this episode: Catholic Family 101,  Bob’s surgery,  4-H podcast,  Confirmation Retreat, Mail Bag: Mary from Seattle, Brenda from Pennsylvania,  Mary from Minnesota.

Links in this episode:

http://gc4-h.blogspot.com/

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Final Song: 38 Acres – I Praise You
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Graphic: Welcome to Catholic School by cgianelloni

Hi dear friends of the Catholic Family from Texas… no that’s not my wife and me… THE Catholic Family is the Sweeneys from Texas. We’ve never met in person although I sure would like to do that. But we have shared email communication – and as listeners, we have come to think of them from the ways they share their lives on the podcasts.

The format of their program is a mix of them – some unvarnished them… mixed with some sound-seeing from time to time… the sounds of rushing waters in a river they are vacationing in… or the sounds of a rain storm… or the sound of dripping water in their recording studio. (What architect worked on that design by the way?)

They say that David Sweeney has a psychology degree… may God help Allyson and the kids (grin). I bring this up because I wonder what communication is like in the Sweeney household. It sounds as if it’s pretty good. I’m sure they have their moments.

My wife and I have some open sharing. But she tends to be ‘The Ignorer.’ And I tend to be a ‘stuffer.’ I’ve heard that you can never really stuff anything because it always comes out in a different way or place. How is communication in your home? Is it talk, talk, talk? Or is it communication? A mix of both?

From time to time, I read articles about relationships. And in the seminary when I was studying to become a deacon – they spent a lot of time on our weekends of spiritual formation concentrating on marriage enrichment and repair work with husbands and wives required to be present. If you would think that deacons would have holy, holy marriages with perfect kids – Oy Veh – you are sure in for a surprise. (Speaking of communication, how do you spell oyveh by the way??)

I just received a column from a Father Lou Guntzelman who writes in the Ohio Community Press. Fr. Lou says that mere talk stifles relations while communication deepens a relationship. He wrote: “One would think that if we live in close association with a person we want to increasingly love, we would communicate often. One would think that communication flows easily between close friends and spouses…. A great difference exists between talking and communicating. Talk is often called cheap because it doesn’t cost much. It consists in mindlessly meeting streams of words, superficialities, and common information.”

I know what Father Lou is getting at — but it sure doesn’t make it any easier to do in our relationship. I mean if I ‘communicate’ with my wife, she might get to know what I’m really thinking. What if she doesn’t respond – I will have opened myself up… exposed myself and there won’t be any concern or sympathy or understanding.

Worse yet – what if she opened up and told me something from her gut. What is she said she doesn’t like the way I treated someone. I mean, for heaven’s sake – I might have to explain or defend myself.

A book that we used in our deacon formation classes is called “Fighting For Your Marriage.” It’s described as a best-selling marriage enhancement and divorce prevention book. (The authors started this from some very significant work at the University of Denver. The last names of the authors are Markman, Stanley and Blumberg The Book is published by Jossey-Bass – a Wiley Company out of San Francisco).

Now there are different types of communication between husband and wife. There is casual talk: who picks up the kids after soccer practice, who will shop for groceries, etc. While these words are often done in the times of repetitive struggles to just keep us with daily life – this ‘casual talk’ must be done with love and consideration. My son-in-law reminds me of this when he says, “Happy Wife… Happy Life.” That said, if casual talk is the only talk in a marriage – for heaven’s sake seek help! Go away for a weekend and work to rekindle the reasons you fell in love. Tell the other person exactly that…

Next, there is ‘conflict or issue talking.’ That’s where this program comes in (most especially for problems). And finally – there’s ‘friendship’ talk – the kind of talk a couple needs when they want to stay together. Friendship talk is for building intimacy, attachment, security… what we call the ‘good stuff.’
If we don’t work on healthy ways to handle the conflict and issue talk – we’ll have trouble getting to and enjoying the friendship talk. Going back to Fighting For Your Marriage — one of the seemingly stupid ideas put forth by these highly educated authors is the concept of ‘the FLOOR.’ The Floor is a piece of paper or a 3 X 5 card – on it is written the word, FLOOR. When a couple needs to have a real talk… an issues type talk, they are encouraged to get the 3 X 5 card. And when they get started – only one person can have the Floor at a time. The person with the Floor can talk for (perhaps) 3 to 5 minutes expressing his/her view of a problem or an issue. No negativity is allowed – no attacking. The other person must listen without interruption. He or she is then handed the Floor. Guess what that person must do? The one receiving the Floor must start by saying, “What I heard you say is this: _____________. Is that what you said?” This requires a clear expression of what the first person said so that both parties are talking about and responding to the exact same issue. Sound easy? Sound silly? Try it if you have communications struggles in your family. After a while of using this technique – couples dispense with the 3 X 5 card… because the ebb and flow of their talk respects the idea of one person talking – the other listening and repeating what was said before responding.

There are other guidelines in this Fighting For Your Marriage book and program. But the key is to ‘frame’ a discussion with little or no emotion. This concentrates on a problem and ways to work on it.

As a deacon – I’ve worked with couples to prepare them for marriage. Statistics tell us that perhaps as many as 50 percent will wind up in divorce court. Even the ones who go through Catholic marriage preparation suffer from this societal problem. Everyone loves their partner when they get married. No one loves their partner when they divorce. What’s going on? For many of them – it is a safe bet that it was ‘talk, talk, talk’ followed by ‘talk, boredom, talk’ followed by argument, anger, divorce court.

I’d like to hear from you if you have some tips or tools that have worked for you. I’d like to hear from you if you worked your way through tough times.

Blessings. Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmom.com
www.catholicmoments.com

In this episode: Familiae Catholicae Centesimus Pars, Catholic Family Operetta (thank you Jennifer, Greg, Fr. Bill, Dr. Paul, Fr. Roderick, Mac, the Sweeney kids and Muzio Clementi for contributing), Ike report, laying grass, kids in the rain,  Swallows and Amazons, changes in the podcast, Chorus of Choirs, Exulatation of the Cross, your wishes and feedback.

Final Song: Transmission: I Know a Fount

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David and Allyson invite you to contribute to their upcoming 100th episode. Join us live on uStream Saturday, September 13th at 8pm CST for the recording. Send you audio feedback to 206-339-8993 or email us [a.t.] catholicfamilypodcast.com

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Song by Thomas Bailey – Bob Walter’s Hornpipe

In this episode – French Nazis from Canada, the last of the boxes, the “place that shall not be named”, school starts,  problems with Luke and Austin, Hannah Superstar,  St. Michael Mass, Mail Bag.Police Officer’s Prayer to St.  Michael

Saint Michael, heaven’s glorious commissioner of police, who once so neatly and successfully cleared God’s premises of all its undesirables, look with kindly and professional eyes on your earthly force.

Give us cool heads, stout hearts, and uncanny flair for investigation and wise judgement.Make us the terror  burglars, the friend of children and law-abiding citizens, kind to strangers, polite to bores, strict with law-breakers and impervious to temptations.

You know, Saint Michael, from your own experiences with the devil that the police officer’s lot on earth is not always a happy one; but your sense of duty that so pleased God, your hard knocks that so surprised the devil, and your angelic self-control give us inspiration.

And when we lay down our night sticks, enroll us in your heavenly force, where we will be as proud to guard the throne of God as we have been to guard the city of all the people. Amen.

100th Episode is next – tune in for  some fun – send your audio comments  to us [a.t.]  catholicfamilypodcast dot com or  call the comment line 206-339-8993

Final Song: Roger Roll – Eighty-One
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Graphic: No Toys in the Attic

These ministers are decidedly Evangelical as to style, including Baptists, Methodists, a Four Square Gospel Church and other faiths. I was the only Catholic representative. Morning prayer with these men is very ‘free-form’ — voicing expression of what is on their minds and hearts. We lifted up all area churches, programs for youth, those who are sick…. we prayed for America, for the elections, for elected officials, etc. There was prayer for our own sinfulness and failures. I find myself quite comfortable in this milieu — although you would guess it to be quite different than our Catholic forms of prayer… different of course than our worship in a liturgical setting.

Have you been around evangelical-oriented believers? I have read recently that the characteristics of these believers include the call for all to come to a conversion in their lives. (Seems to me that’s the way John the Baptist and Jesus started their missions!). Evangelical folks call for a renunciation of a passionless Christianity — do we not recall the words of Jesus about being lukewarm? Of course the Bible means a great deal to these folks — as it does or should to us.

You might ask why I bring this topic up on this Catholic Family Podcast venue? One of the Spirit-filled Protestant Churches in the Midwest would seem to be the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. (Which is not to be confused with the IHOP that many know after weekend Mass attendance!) The K.C. leader is Mike Bickle — and he has written about having a passion for Jesus. Here’s a quote from pastor Mike: “Passionless Christianity, so common today, is no threat to the devil. Focused on concepts and activities to the neglect of heartfelt affection and obedience to God, it brings no pleasure to God’s heart. It doesn’t bring pleasure (even) to the believer. But true Christianity sparks a flame in human spirit. It ignites the heart with holy fervency for Jesus.”

Did you catch those words about people having a ‘focus on concepts and activities?’ Hmmm… I sometimes feel that way about our churches. You know: we must have a women’s group… or we must have a men’s association. We need a director of religious education… Yes — these are important ideas in an organized parish or church. But if I said we had an opening for someone to lead a program called ‘Falling in love with Jesus all over again,’ I wonder who would show up? Who would want to volunteer?

The words from Scripture about being lukewarm come back to me often. It seems to me that many who are in parish organizations enter them because they have somehow become convinced that ‘organization’ is what the church is about. Well… call me evangelical…. or call me Charismatic… or call me anti-organization… what I sometimes wish to see is the spirit and zeal like that we often see in new parents. Brand new parents who are on fire with the potential of a new child God has given them. I’d like to see this in our Catholic worship… I’d like to see it in some of our church organizations.

I just read an article about a Catholic Church that doesn’t have pews or benches in part of the main area of the church. It’s carpeted and people can kneel or sit on their haunches during Mass. Some folks kneel, and during the Consecration, they bend at the waist and put their heads down on the carpet. Yes, I’ll bet it sounds strange to most Catholic folk… but where this action comes from is a passionate demonstration of the reality of Christ-present during the holiest of moments this side of eternity. In another church that I was a part of for awhile, I saw ladies who always… always double-genuflected — meaning they genuflected on both knees when they came into church or were leaving. Why? To honor God and to atone for those who don’t even bother to genuflect as they walk past the tabernacle or on entry or exit from pews. How does this make you feel?

Well — this isn’t a radical or veiled request to rip out the pews in our churches. No such thing! It’s a prayerful hope for some who read this to be inspired. To want to add passionate faith practice to their lives. And if they begin to do that, maybe this ‘exposed’ passion and love for Christ will carry over into passionate parenting and passionate caring for others. May any who heed this call recognize that the rewards for doing this are almost certain not to come in the here-and-now — but will come after the final curtain. That’s okay… it really is. Because passionate worship and the fire of real love is what awaits those who join the eternal kingdom that Jesus promised. (Note: I’ve already asked Jesus if I can be on the praise-team in the next life!)

Pastor Mike Bickle said that God intended our souls to be captured, consumed and enthralled with Jesus. Does your family worship and home life seem passionate and enthralling? How would you like a change? Tell Jesus you’d like to put your head down — maybe starting just a little bit during the consecration. Tipping your body toward his throne… his tabernacle. That might just start something new and passionate in your heart. Can I get an AMEN on that?

Blessings. Deacon Tom

www.deacontomonline.com

www.catholicfamilypodcast.com

www.catholicmoments.com

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In this episode: getting completely moved out of the old house-YUCK! mouse story, church raffle, review of the Mummy 3,  faith and works, Mail Bag: Dee from Arizona,  Deacon Tom,  Sarah from Ohio,  Michael from Minnesota, Final Song: Free Reign: Megastar From the podsafe music network.
Links in this episode:

USCCB Review of the Life of Brian

Faith and Works

Graphic: Mouse Farewell by *nJoo

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In this episode: The top 10 things all families should do (or not do), moved-in, David’s iPhone, Deacon Tom’s column on Eating Together,  rules for eating before Mass, Mail Bag: Deacon Tom and Mrs. Deacon Tom, Mary, Ruthie, Sean the Duck Tape Guy, Fireproof the Movie.

Links in this episode:

http://www.outreach.com/ (Gary Smalley)
http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/takeaction/
http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/

Books:

THE SURPRISING POWER OF FAMILY MEALS: How Eating Together Makes Us Smarter, Stronger, Healthier and Happier By Miriam Weinstein

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