CF161: God’s Country


Podcast: Download In this episode:  Del Lago and the TV headache, Philmont and Lost Pines, Qatar, leaving Christ Our Light, the vacuum cleaner ponytail, Rediscover Catholicism study group, Archdiocesan Youth Conference,  Mailbag:Jim from PA. Contact our comment line at (936) 228-1836 or email us [at] catholicfamilypodcast (dot) com

CF160: Chicken Plucker


Podcast: Download In this episode: the best daddy in the world, chicken plucker, mattie moment, Sweet Brown Cold Pop Escape, CCE field trip, papal lap book, cheap date, mailbag: Chad asks about the recent Boy Scouts of America controversy, Allyson’s book, twaddle

Welcome Back, Easter Catholic

The following is the ‘heart’ of Deacon Tom’s EASTER HOMILY given at his parish in north central Arizona. A bit of it has been modified for the readers at the Catholic Family Podcast site. Dear parishioners … dear folks visiting family members … dear visitors. We wish you a most …

CF159: Mine Is Bigger!


Podcast: Download   In this episode: our own private highway, toddler-friendly advent wreath, Kathryn is confirmed, Christmas play, caroling, mailbag: Bob from Georgia, Dee from Catholic Vitamins, and Sean the Ducktape Guy from Ontario-who? email us [at] or call us at 936-228-1836.    

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It’s Time For a Catholic Resurrection

April 20, 2014 Deacon Tom 2 Comments

imagesBelated and blessed Easter prayers. It’s time for a Catholic resurrection.

Excuse starting a Catholic Family Podcast with a reflection that starts with me… but I want to start with a story — well, two stories actually.

Story one: My wife Dee and I were at a Thai restaurant about five months ago. A very pretty and quite friendly blonde waitress enhanced the already enjoyable meal experience. In doing a bit of chatting with her when we could, I found out that she is a hair stylist looking for more clients. And my six year relationship with a stylist was ending because she was leaving our town to become engaged. And so – a match made over ‘chicken pad Thai.’

Jump ahead some months and I am now mildly acquainted with the young lady as I have seen her four or five times for hair cuts. She is quite good at this. But in my last visit, I found out she is pregnant by a boyfriend whom she is not living with. They ‘go together’ and have discussed moving in, but she is uncertain about making that kind of a commitment to this guy. I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears to dislodge wax and see if I had heard correctly…. ‘you are pregnant by this fellow and he says he’s ready to be a father, and yet you two aren’t ready to take the step to marry or live together?

I bring this up because by now I’ve found out that the blonde stylist goes to a Christian church which she has previously told me about. She loves the pastor because he is ‘funny’ and makes her feel good. And she likes the uptempo Christian pop music.

Now let me go to the second story… I know I haven’t given you an ending or some sort of evangelization to the blonde lady. I don’t have a suitable conclusion just yet. Let’s move on.

My wife might wink and suggest there’s a pattern as I move into story number two. I have been having some trouble with my knees (a bit too much kneeling you might presume? :-) And so I recently had my regular doctor refer me to a young-ish, attractive physical therapist in our town. I knew her reputation from my visits to an elderly care center where she used to work, and in which I bring Communion to the residents.

Jumping ahead, at my most recent visit for therapy, by now I’m talking more in depth with the therapist and it comes out that she used to be ‘Catholic.’ At 22 years of age, while in college, she met and fell head over heels in love with a guy ‘she should never have married.’ She wanted to be married in the out-of-doors and she was mad that the Catholic church wouldn’t let her do this. She made the excuse that I’ve heard several times: “That’s where I feel closest to God is outside, in nature.” I didn’t respond to this; I just listened.

She said the marriage didn’t last long, except that a daughter came forth from that union. And the therapist is now a single mom, caring for the daughter with some sort of a zodiac sounding name. I mean no disrespect. The therapist asked me what time Easter Masses were — she thought she ought to go ‘make an appearance.’ Oh my heavens. Where to start. What to say?

Now you know why I left you hanging on the first story: free love, contraception, no-fault divorce and Christians that have become a ‘whatever’ generation or two have led us to the point where these stories are the norm. Holy Father Francis recently summed it up that today’s marriage-bound couples (if they are even going to get married) say or intend this message: “We will stay together for as long as our love lasts.”

Let’s take the physical therapist situation. She has what is called a doctorate in physical therapy. She is recognized as a true professional in the community. She has gone to two colleges to complete her degrees and specialized training. How could she be this alive in that area of her life while treating Christianity or Catholicism as some sort of abstract theory? How can we who call ourselves followers of Christ allow such a death message to be handed on to our young people?

I once was doing some pastoral counseling with an older woman. She, a Catholic allowed as how she had not forced her kids to go to church — from the beginning. And of course none of them are in the Church now. Except for funerals, of course. She asked me (point blank) if I thought she had done wrong. I wanted to explode an answer to her — “You are totally responsible for the salvation of the souls of your children and you want to know if it was okay what you did?”

But of course, in our touchy-feel-good society of Christians – this can’t be done. And mind you, my wife and I have our own historical failings in this area. Let those without sin cast the first stone. But it ought to be recognized as grave sin – not pampered with ‘there, there, you did your best.’

All of this started, of course in a garden. “Oh Adam, it’s okay, take a bite.” And of course today’s pseudo-Christian theorists would remind us that no one would be condemned for simply eating an apple. Or condemned to hell for meat on Fridays like they used to say. And many more of today’s speakers would indicate that the Church is so far out of date about things like giving condoms to kids or not being fair to homosexuals who truly love each other. Or living together before marriage.

I have no idea if this column will be read by one person or a hundred. But I submit to you that we Catholics (well, all Christians really) are in need of a resurrection. We are in need of the power of God’s most Holy Spirit to come upon us and to rattle our churches with a mighty wind. A mighty force of awakening.

Christ arose. He is alive. Christianity is alive. But some of churches aren’t alive. I’ve been in them. They remind me of what a most holy woman, Lucille (R. I. P.) used to say: before she ‘found’ life in the Church, she thought all the “MASSES WERE FOR THE DEAD and all the HOMILIES WERE FOR MONEY.” More than a sliver of truth in those pablum churches that are allowing the flock to be mostly un-challenged, un-taught, self-catechized and self-directed. And with no real-world life testimony as to what it means to be an on-fire, resurrected Catholic. Many so-called Bible-believing churches don’t fare well in these areas either.

With regard to the hair dresser and the physical therapist, I will go gently into these matters. Although I wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts. But know that in my heart that many of my generation and the one following entered the tomb and they have never resurrected. Myself, for a while included. We need to lay hands on the ‘whatever’ generation of Catholics and bring them back to life.

Can I get an Amen?

Deacon Tom

Minimalism: Heaven Bent This Lent?

February 20, 2014 Deacon Tom No Comments

I live in a parish with a predominately older population. Like many or most parishes, there are the daily Mass attendees… mostly gray haired… often coming for the rosary before Mass and then the 25 minute liturgy. I have to give a lot of our ‘dailies’ credit – they may also stay for the Chaplet of Divine Mercy… Good prayer warriors. But like most older folks – they are pretty set in their ways and don’t take to change very well. images

And so, what to do for Lent? Oh, you know: “I’ll stop drinking beer.” Or “I’ll do what I have always done. No candy.” They’ve heard a priest tell them that if they’re over 60 years of age, they don’t have to fast. If taken literally, this would mean that likely 80% of the parish would be told not to worry about fasting. This is such a wimpy way of responding to Scripture. Such a disappointing mindset given that Blessed Mother Mary has been calling for fasting in her apparitions at Medjugorje.

What we should hear often is that the Church tells us that every Friday… not just Fridays in Lent… every Friday is a penitential day. At least every Friday we should be called to penitential sharing in some form of suffering or discomfort…. giving up things we enjoy. Minimally, the Church says that during Lent we should abstain from meat on Fridays. Given the wonderful fish dinners they serve at so many places in our town… abstaining from meat is more a pleasure — not a sacrifice. And so – what are you considering for Friday fasting?

Someone on EWTN said it is a traditional doctrine of Christian spirituality that an important part of repentance, of turning away from sin and back to God includes some form of penance, without which the Christian is unlikely to remain on the narrow path and to be saved. Those, dear friends are challenging words — not for the wimpy… and not for those who believe they are working their way to heaven by giving up meat on Lenten Fridays, while enjoying three satisfying meals those days.

Those who are in later years ought to be fasting in some form on behalf of the world (and the Church) that we will leave behind us…  for our children and grandchildren. This Church that we are leaving to our young people tells us that when we’ve attained the age of 60, we don’t have to fast, except on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. The writer on EWTN says that milk shakes and alcoholic drinks don’t break a fast for older folks… but the drinks certainly seem contrary to the spirit of doing penance. And so, while we may not be required to do a food fast at our age – certainly Fridays would seem a proper day to avoid a regular glass of wine or a trip to the Dairy Queen. And those would be minimal… minimal fasting practices.

We have a Friday soup supper discipline in the parish in Arizona where we live. It’s a nice communal thing to do. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable recommending that as the only thing to do for Lent besides not eating meat on Fridays. Some religious orders never… never eat meat. Would you consider this as a fast that might work for you for all of Lent? And how about smaller portions? The early Church had a practice of a regular Wednesday and Friday fasting. Would you consider implementing tough fasting during a part of Lent? Or even beyond?

In the book REDISCOVER CATHOLICISM, Matthew Kelly Unknownwrites about one of the great problems of modern day Christianity. It’s what I suggested before — minimalism. What’s the least that I can do and still get to heaven. How many truly believe minimalism is the way to love the Lord and walk in the desert? Our challenge these Lenten days is found in the call to prayer — giving up more time to spend with the Lord in prayer… in almsgiving… sharing more of our resources with others… and in fasting or some other forms of self-denial.

You and I need our calories and protein and fruits and veggies — but there are so many ways that we can fast. This deacon could fast from challenging or lengthy homilies or reflections.

In fact, that’s a great idea. I’ll stop now. Blessings.

Deacon Tom


Job Openings – Seeking Catholic Mandelas

December 30, 2013 Deacon Tom No Comments

(This column is scheduled for January publication on the Catholic Mom website. Deacon Tom feels that this topic is worth sharing on other venues, and he welcomes your thoughts and feedback)

Two seemingly unrelated starters:

  1. For nine years, I have attended the priest, deacon, seminarian conference and retreat at Franciscan University. Each time I attend, I participate in a three day Life in the Spirit seminars led by charismatic-oriented priests and laymen. It has fundamentally and forever changed my understanding of what it means to live as a Catholic.
  2. For four years and more, my wife Dee and I have co-moderated the Catholic Vitamins podcast. Each week, we have had some of the most inspiring guests. I shouldn’t start to mention names, for there are over 150; any listing would be confusing to me to know what order to put them in. And truly some of the names aren’t yet well-known enough for their growing contributions to the faith life of the Church.

What do these two starters have to do with each other? Fr Michael ScanlanTo spend time in the presence of people like Fr. Michael Scanlan (the former President of Franciscan University), Scott Hahn, Theologian in residence at Franciscan University, Ralph Martin, founder of Renewal Ministries, and others… And to be able to interview Catholic singers like Danielle Rose and Audrey Assad — and to know that they have spent (sometimes) weeks writing and setting powerful Catholic thinking to music – and then performing in important Catholic venues — to interview Steve Dawson, the founder and National Director of St. Paul Street Evangelization –  these sorts of ‘vitamins’ to my faith are great gifts from the Lord.

But, what to do with the nourishment (and challenge) that these gifts have been to me? In recent days we sang Go Tell It On The Mountain at our parish. People liked the upbeat tempo and more than the usual number joined in. But their singing and their spirit seemed to end at the door. When I see this – I feel like preaching like a Southern Baptist or a Pentecostal preacher — at the expense of all relationship with the pastor and many of the regulars. Here’s what I mean.

Have you ever heard of, or read any of the words of Bishop Paul Loverde of the Arlington (VA) Diocese? He asks this question: Is the parish on a treadmill of activity where ‘maintenance’ is overshadowing ‘mission?’ Are there current activities that can yield their place in our parish priorities so new activities focusing on evangelization might bear more fruit?

In my own life in the parish, I want to yell out “Hell yes, excellency. Hell Yes!” (And excuse me for the word hell dear bishop and reader :-). Enough with the pancake breakfasts and bazaars and parish raffles and raising funds to buy new altar linens. We have people fleeing the Catholic Church for a ‘life in the Spirit’ that they don’t see or understand to already be present where they have been.

Bishop Loverde expressed it this way: When I was ordained just 10 days after the close of the Second Vatican Council, 2 in 10 marriages ended in divorce. Abortion was illegal. Fewer than 300,000 Americans were incarcerated. Today, 2 in 10 pregnancies end in abortion, over 1 million annually, which is so heartrending. More than 4 in 10 marriages end in divorce, and in the public culture, marriage and the family are in the process of being redefined. One in 31 adult Americans is in prison or on probation.”  (Quoted from a Pastoral and public letter to all in his Diocese by Bishop Paul S. Loverde, on the Solemnity of Christ the King, November 24, 2013)

Today, in places we appear to have a ‘too safe’ grasp on a maintenance model of faith practice. Pastors hang close to the guard rail of convention, many deacons aren’t stand-alone models of on-fire clergy as was our model, St. Stephen. And often DRE’s allow CCD programs to be gatherings which teach arts and crafts at the expense of excitedly educating students on ‘why did God make me?’ And as another priest said about this ‘safe approach’ to the faith – everyone in the Church wants to keep everyone happy. And of course, Bishop Loverde reminds us that we are far from keeping everyone happy because 35 percent have left the earnest practice of the Faith.

In 2014, right now, we need Catholic Mandelas who will prayerfully look at what we are doing inside the Church and bring a battle cry of reform. We can’t succumb to the ‘whatever Father thinks’ mentality if what Father thinks is to maintain a status quo of convention and peace and quiet. Important note: I promised the Archbishop that ordained me that I would be obedient to him and to his successors. Make no mistake: this is a tough promise to keep. But the Archbishop that ordained me is on-fire for the Faith and for a lively Catholic Church. I’m not under his personal jurisdiction right now. But I bet if I took this sort of a struggle with an on-going maintenance approach to Church to him – he would listen and help me to find a way to be ‘obedient to the Church,’ but to also set the Spirit within me free.

I’m not sure who will read this. If God wants it made somewhat visible, He will help that to happen. I just know that around me, there are Catholic Mandela’s willing to go to ‘prison’ (of some sort) and to pray while there. Praying without stopping that other Mandela’s will also be in prayer and that with God’s help and grace, we can bring about change in our own lives, change in our families, change in our parishes, change in our dioceses.

We have job openings for Mandelas in our Church.

Yes Deacon… keep going. Keep dreaming.


Deacon Tom Fox


An Irish Curmudgeon & Growing the Faith

October 31, 2013 Deacon Tom No Comments

A week ago Saturday, I went to a new priest for confession. The priest turned out to be an Irish curmudgeon. Do you know what a curmudgeon is? The dictionary says a curmudgeon is a bad tempered or a surly person. But, when you put the two words ‘Irish curmudgeon’ together – the meaning can be a bit different.

curmidgeonAn Irish curmudgeon can be crusty on the outside and yet gentle and loving on the inside. At any rate – I went to confession to this Irish priest. I opened to him as follows: “Father, I’d like to tell you my sins and then have a few moments to talk with you about what I’m confessing…” He seemed to snort a bit and said, “Ok – tell me your sins.” (Irish accented :-)

“Father — I want to confess the sin of impatience… and next, I want to confess….” Father interrupts: “Wait a minute, wait a minute…  who are you impatient with?” I wanted to say “I’m impatient with a priest who interrupts me and won’t let me finish my sentences…”

Well, this turned out to be a rather thorough confession. Fr. Curmudgeon gave me a thorough going over. But towards the end he said, “I don’t mean to be hard on you. I just want you to know I’m concerned for your soul…”  He said it warmly, tenderly and with a smile… I’m most sure there was love underneath.

When a reporter asked Pope Francis to describe himself, he said, “I’m a sinner.” Imagine. A pope who admits to sin, and who routinely goes to confession. The pope preached a homily the other day about Confession. He said ‘some people (who make excuses) say I confess directly to God, but that’s like confessing by email. No eye contact. No person to person accountability.’ Quoting St. James, Francis said we confess sin one to another.

Sadly, a great number of Catholics have gotten away from regular confession. Worse, some are infrequent in attending Mass. St. Paul tells Timothy and us in Scripture that we’ve got to persevere in the faith. Growing in the faith is NOT slacking off… or being stagnant in our faith walk. Paul talked about ‘winning the race.’ Winning the race means cooperating with God’s grace of faith and encouraging its growth… all of our lives.

I preached recently — the weekend of the 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time. That’s when St. Paul talked about this faith business as if it’s a race. He was near the end of his life and he was ready to claim the prize of staying in the race. He was no bench-warmer.

During the homily at our parish, I asked the attendees at Mass:  WHY DID YOU COME HERE TODAY? In my own response I said, “If growing your faith isn’t one of the reasons… I’d ask you to think about this.” And for the rest of the homily, we went through what are called the Five ‘W’s of growing in our Faith.

The Five W’s include WANTING… WAITING… WITHSTANDING…. WORKING…. and WINNING. My homily was a bit longer than normal, and too long to fully include here – but I’d like to include a bit of the thinking:

WANTING — Do you say you want to have a better faith? Wasn’t it a week or two ago that the apostles asked our Lord, “Increase our Faith?” Jesus told them they will be able to do more… accomplish more… even some of the same powerful things that Jesus did… and they knew how early in their faith walk they were. They asked for more faith. St. Paul is telling us that if you think you want more faith… you’ve got to act like it… pray for it… spend more time on it… do things that bring about holiness… it might start with a good confession… done regularly. For others, it’ll mean coming off the bench and becoming active in service … or maybe committing to attend a daily Mass once a week…  You say you WANT more faith? You say you WANT deeper faith? Pray to him: LORD, INCREASE MY FAITH.

Here’s the 2nd W: WAITING. Now our parish is a pretty much older… a senior oriented parish in Arizona. In fact, I told them that it’s referred to as ‘God’s Waiting Room.’ But we have to Wait on the Lord… Wait until His time to begin to infuse and grow new faith in us. It may start by meeting a powerful convert. It may mean meeting a priest who will touch our hearts. Sadly, it could be the death of someone which begins the process of a new growth in faith. How long? In God’s time we’ll know the answer.

And so… if you really, really WANT stronger faith… not like wanting to see this weekend’s football game…  if you want faith… let the Lord know you want it… after you return to your seat from receiving Communion, close those eyes and beg the Lord, “Increase my faith.” And keep praying that prayer and then WAIT on the Lord. So – we’ve got WANTING, WAITING… and next is…

WITHSTANDING … If faith begins to grow in you — you’ll begin to sense it. But so will others. St Paul tells Timothy that he had to bear his share of hardships for the Gospel… He was beaten… Paul said ‘everyone deserted me.’ That’s what St. Paul had to WITHSTAND. If, after wanting and waiting, greater faith begins to kick in, our life begins to change… and maybe… just maybe your family and friends will suggest you’re acting kind of different.

Here you are beginning to talk about the Lord working in your life…  Some people may even begin to think you have gone off the deep end. And what you and I need to do is to pray: God give us strength… let me not be ashamed of WITHSTANDING changes that God is going to start sharing within me. Just like he shared with Jesus and the Apostles.

The next W is what? WORKING. Jesus said we need to work… In fact Jesus spoke bluntly. As we heard a couple weeks ago, we should do these things because it is expected of a disciple. I told the people at our Tuesday Bible study this fact: In our country, there are many millions of people who claim to be Catholic and a study says only about one third of them go to Church.

If you think your pastor or your bishop is responsible or even able to reach the 2/3 of your family and friends who have stopped going to church, you’re fooling yourself.  You and I… you and I are responsible for going out to lovingly invite the two thirds. Don’t wait for the priest. He’s running a parish and its programs. You and I need to get out and find the lost sheep… Can I get an Amen on that?

Let’s get WORKING using the gifts that God has given to us… because when it comes to eternity — you don’t want to dig up the one God-given talent that you buried in your yard. Bring the multiplied talents that sprang from God’s gift to you.

And finally…. WINNING –  Our music theme on the Catholic Vitamins podcast is from a Gospel singer. The words tell us, in part, we’ve already won. But that means at the very end when King Jesus returns – he and his followers will have won. But if you live in today’s world – you know there are a lot of battles to be won. A lot of them. You and I… most of us want to be on the WINNING TEAM.  For those who WANT it… those who WAIT for it… for those who WITHSTAND the pressures of non-believers… Those of us willing to WORK for it… The Lord is leading us… through the cross… through the power of His precious blood… we are being led to WIN in His glory. I feel like singing, “Mine eyes have seen the glory…” We can WIN brothers and sisters… Can I get another AMEN?


Deacon Tom


CF161: God’s Country


In this episode:  Del Lago and the TV headache, Philmont and Lost Pines, Qatar, leaving Christ Our Light, the vacuum cleaner ponytail, Rediscover Catholicism study group, Archdiocesan Youth Conference,  Mailbag:Jim from PA.

Contact our comment line at (936) 228-1836 or email us [at] catholicfamilypodcast (dot) com

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CF161: God’s Country


Podcast: Download In this episode:  Del Lago and the TV headache, Philmont and Lost Pines, Qatar, leaving Christ Our Light, the vacuum cleaner ponytail, Rediscover Catholicism study group, Archdiocesan Youth Conference,  Mailbag:Jim from PA. Contact our comment line at (936) 228-1836 or email us [at] catholicfamilypodcast (dot) com

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