The Holy Family; The Catholic Family

In recent years, there is a priest that I have followed a bit. His name is Fr. Tommy Lane. He came from Ireland and he became a professor and a successful preacher at Mount Saint Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, Maryland. I was reading some of his words recently and I noticed how Fr. Lane reminded us of the similarities between the Holy Family and our ordinary, everyday families.

For example, we have friends who had thirteen children. Early in their family life, they took a long trip and left one of their offspring at a turnpike rest stop. Did you ever lose one of your children when you were on a trip, or even lose a child who was playing outside of your home? Only then to find them and sweep them up into your arms asking, as Mary did: ‘Why have you done this to us?’ The lost one in your own arms might try to make up a reason why he or she wandered off… it may seem unclear what they are saying. And Mary and Joseph didn’t really understand the answer that Jesus gave them about being about His Father’s affairs.

Fr. Lane said that the Holy Family was a family that (most surely) had signal and special graces — but they were a most ordinary family having trials and travels and geographic moves forced upon them. Sometimes there are broken bones or other serious illness or challenges. Just in these recent hours, the Gospel at Mass narrated the words of Simeon telling Mary she would have her heart pierced with a sword of great sorrow. Of course Mary came to know the answer. But not right away; and so too, all of us in our family troubles.

Why unpleasant or painful things happen may remain fully in the providence of Almighty God, but, as with the Holy Family, there is no answer but faith and we are called to continue our Catholic journey just as The Holy Family persevered.

To encourage families today I want to share words from Blessed John Paul II. On the day he left Ireland in 1979, much of his homily in Limerick was for the purpose of giving encouragement to families, and in particular to parents. The Pope reminded that the family is primary. Family has been our greatest resource. And due to relativism and divorce and the attack on the true meaning of marriage, the current challenges make family more important than ever. The Holy Father said that the idea of a close-knit family isn’t outdated. He asked that we not follow the trends that are creating difficulties for family life and Christian marriage.

John Paul said that we should revere and protect family and family life. He said the Christian family is more important for the Church and for society today than ever before. He reflected on the importance of parents to remain good fathers and mothers, and this is true as well for grandparents and great grandparents. Do not think that anything you will do in life is more important than to be a good Christian father and mother.

The Holy Father also reminded that day that marriage means being open to the receive the gift of children from God. Do we not see how much society and the media and the contraceptive mentality have damaged marriage and parenthood since the 1970’s when John Paul spoke these words?

As the Pope left Ireland, he asked families to give him a parting gift. Imagine JPII asking them for a gift. He asked us that our homes would always be places of prayer. As we ended the year with the feast of the Holy Family, I ask you to look at your home with the eye of the late John Paul II. Are there signs of prayer and holiness around you? Are there holy pictures and statues? Is there holy water? Does your family pause to include grace before meals? The Holy Family did this. It is this example that faithful followers of God’s loving gifts are called to emulate.

I have shared with you before that when I was completing four years of deacon seminary classes, they had us go on a one week silent retreat. It was a discernment retreat to seek God’s voice about whether to accept the call from the Church about ordination. As I walked on a path by myself… as I wondered if I should move forward, I discovered myself praying: “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I trust in you.” When I realized what I was doing — resistance was futile and unnecessary. The rest is history.

In closing, let me share that we were given a gift to hear of David and Allyson about six or more years ago. It was back in those days that we came to know of a Catholic Family who was proud of their faith and their family. Four or five years ago, the Sweeneys invited Deacon Tom to act as a sort of ‘chaplain’ for the Catholic Family website. What an honor. 

Two years ago, Dee and I were especially gifted to be invited to visit The Catholic Family in their Texas home. What we envisioned from a distance through the lens of their podcast turned out to be quite true in their home. Ordinary folks with eternal goals. Ordinary kids who love and who care; ordinary kids who bicker and test the boundaries (and even one who cuts her hair [on one side] with scissors picked up when no one was paying attention).  And evening time complete with the rosary, said as a family.

We aren’t ‘family’ to The Catholic Family. But we sure do care for them as if they were members of our family.

Happy New Year one and all.

Holy Family — pray for us. Amen.

Gene and Alice and the Luminous Mysteries

One of the joys of the early years of being a deacon has been my work with young couples as they prepare for the beautiful sacrament of marriage. At the time, we lived in Estes Park, Colorado. Estes is a small Colorado town of gorgeous views and it sits at the base of Rocky Mountain National Park and the Continental Divide. The parish was a classic mountain church and it was a destination place for young couples seeking sacramental union in the Catholic Church. Many young men or women grew up vacationing in this area and wanted to bring families together to share in great joy and inspiring creation.

While I worked hard and with much love to prepare couples, I’m not naive; troubles often come early in a marriage. I recall doing homilies at all the Masses at the parish one weekend. I preached on God’s plan for man and woman and about the gift of self to each other. One couple came up to me as I greeted people outside. It turns out there were visitors and were honeymooning in Colorado. They had been married elsewhere one week and a day by the time they talked to me. I broke into a big smile but they weren’t smiling.

“How can I help you?” I asked, my face turning ministerial. They said they had done nothing but argue since the time they left on their honeymoon. They were beginning to wonder if they had made a mistake. The opening 200 hours of their new life were a horrible disappointment. I did the best I could in short moments in between Masses. After counseling a bit, I asked if I could have them join their hands and let me put my hands on their shoulders and I prayed for them and gave them a blessing. I’ll not forget them and their pain where great joy and peace should be. What did they go through for preparation? How mature were they? Did the prayer and blessing help?

Fade to years later: Today, I was taking Holy Communion to people in a couple nursing homes that I visit on Thursdays. As I drove from one location to another, I resumed praying a rosary I had started earlier. I was on the Second Luminous Mystery, the Wedding at Cana. I thought about the gift of my wife, and about our marriage. I prayed for a blessing for us.

Interrupting my prayers again, I pulled up to and entered the second nursing home. In the ‘living room’ area of this pleasant home, there in the same as always seats were Gene and Alice. They are a couple I recognize because Alice had been a patient and resident at the other nursing home for perhaps a year. Gene was always with her. When I didn’t see either of them in the first nursing home, I suspected the worst — the outcome that so often happens in a place of late-aging. And so imagine my surprise when I started going to this second nursing home and found Gene sitting right next to his wife. She does sleep a lot but when she’s awake – she’s talkative. He dotes on her. He is with her virtually every day. I would guess they are in their mid 80’s. His love and constancy in attending to his wife… his desire to be with his all-of-life spouse is so beautiful.

Thank you, Lord for the gift of Church and Sacraments. Thank you for sanctifying the all-of-life union between one man and one woman. Thank you Gene and Alice for your Protestant witness to your marriage. We all have so much we can learn from you.

Below is the reading that is probably the most requested of readings for the weddings I’ve done as a deacon. It’s often called the Hymn of Love. These are Words worth rereading and sharing with your spouse.

Blessings.

Deacon Tom

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Note: This Reflection is also scheduled to run as a November/December 2011 column at www.catholicmom.com

A reading from the first Letter of Saint Paul to the Corinthians 12:31–13:8a

Brothers and sisters: Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.

But I shall show you a still more excellent way. If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

The word of the Lord.

Heaven Speaks to Families

What would it be like to have a direct communications link to the Holy Ones in Heaven? Sound far-fetched and somewhat silly? I understand. But there are ways that we can hear from Heavenly residents.

There’s the Blessed Mother, of course. She’s been speaking to the world in many different venues for decades and more. In fact, in my humble opinion, I believe Jesus has asked His Mother to make concentrated efforts to reach and teach people of good heart, and those for whom there is hope for a good heart.

While I know the Church has a rather neutral stance on current apparitions such as in Medjugorje and elsewhere, I’ve seen and heard such wonderful stories of graces and conversions and good works pouring from these locations, that I’m inclined to believe in them. (NOTE: That’s not official Church — that’s purely Deacon Tom speaking).

And speaking of Deacon Tom — my spiritual director for the last two years that I was in deacon formation was a priest from Colorado. He had become burned out and was of a mind to leave the priesthood. Someone gave this priest a completely free trip to Medjugorje and when the priest came back — he was absolutely on fire. It started with the confessions he was hearing there: they were among the most profound and sincere confessions that they changed the priest’s heart — the one in the priest who became my spiritual director some years later.

One of the places where Heaven is allegedly reaching out to mankind is found in the organization called DIRECTION FOR OUR TIMES (DFOT). There is a lay visionary there – her name is “Anne.” What is hopeful about all of the material and words rushing forth from DFOT is that they are all faithfully submitted to a local bishop in Ireland where Anne is located. The bishop has approved her messages and lessons and teachings and has said there is nothing contradictory to Catholic Church teaching. And further, Dr. Mark Miravalle a professor of theology and Mariology has reviewed ‘Annes’ material and finds nothing that contradicts the teachings or morals of the Catholic Faith.

You can find a lot of information and testimony and ‘heavenly-shared information’ on the DFOT website: http://www.directionforourtimes.org/

I’ve been reading one of the ‘volumes’ of material published by DFOT. The one that I have in my current reading/consideration pile is VOLUME SIX: HEAVEN SPEAKS TO FAMILIES. There are words such as these:

St. Joseph message to fathers of families: “Your family can be another pocket of holiness, as we were. I will show you how. Remember that you have great and limitless help in heaven. Do not be discouraged if your family is struggling with worldly influences. Together we will move forward the example that our little Holy Family has set for you. All is well; let’s begin.” (The rest is message and guidance inside the book).

There are words and challenge for mothers from a woman named Mary — and she is an unknown saint in heaven. That’s what I’d die to be: an unknown saint in heaven.

Believe or not in such ‘messages’ or ‘faith-lifts’ made available in Medjugorje or Ireland or now even in Wisconsin, they are meant to draw fathers and mothers into more exemplary faith walk. And the increased faith in parents will certainly radiate to and help our children.

I’d like to hear from you if you’ve been to a famous apparition site, or if you’ve been reading something along these lines that really interests you or moves your heart.

Blessings.

Deacon Tom

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