STRONGER HUSBANDS – CLOSER WIVES – BETTER MARRIAGES
Hello and blessings! Your Catholic Family Chaplain Deacon Tom sends prayerful and Lenten ‘fish-fry’ greetings to all of you. Gosh – Lent will be over soon, won’t it? I hope you’ve been experiencing a holy, reflective Lent – journeying into the recesses of the spiritual person you are called to be … the person you are invited to become.
As I prepare this column that crosses from the period of Lent into the glory of the Risen Lord, in part, I want to aim my words at husbands. The goal? A resurrection of the abiding love and respect for our wives (or girlfriends, if single) … and for daughters of the listeners to Catholic Family Podcast. Stick with me because women can be involved in this too. And it’s all about closer relationships and better marriages. This is certainly a big job to tackle in these few pages of monthly e-column. I wonder how many of you have heard of the organization known as e5 Special Forces? Let me explain. In his letter to the Ephesians, St. Paul charged men to subordinate ourselves to our spouses as a sign of reverence for Christ. And with this in mind, some time ago, a group of men formed this e5 Men organization encouraging us to take at least one day a month – usually the first Wednesday and to FAST for our wives as a sign of sacrifice – presenting her to the Lord by your actions of self denial. I’ll come back to fasting in a moment. Let me say that the idea of e5 originated for husbands – but it has spread to use by single men… and it is for women as well. There are so many reasons…. so many ways that society has brought about a loss of dignity in women; there has been a loss of the spiritual beauty that was seen in the creation story in the Garden of Eden. Remember Adam telling the Lord: This one…. this one at last is the one I have been waiting for; she is the one with whom I can be completely open… with her I will have no shame. This lack of ‘shame’ speaks of a beautiful intimacy that is so much to be prayed for. E5 Men invites us, married or single men to offer sacrifice at least once a month to make reparations for:
* Any abuses (by anyone) to the God-given dignity of wives
* Many e5 Men offer up one day of fasting for sisters, mothers, daughters, nieces, aunts, co-workers or women friends
* For the finding of a holy husband for our daughters, friends, and relatives (I particularly like this intention; my wife and I regularly pray for our granddaughters and their future spouses)
* For the intentions of Mary, the Mother of Jesus
* Past girlfriends – especially for healing from any harm we men may have caused
* For women who are considering or have participated in abortion and for the whole abortion issue to be resolved
* For women considering or involved with fornication, adultery, sterilization or contraception
* Women in pornography or wives of men who use pornography
* Consecrated celibate women
* Women or girls with eating disorders
* Women or girls abused by men
When you begin to see the many ways women have lost so much in the society that we live in – many of us can agree that there are good reasons to ‘sacrifice’ for their intention at least once a month… more if we can do it. Many who read this column may believe they can’t fast – that fasting is for ‘holy people.’ I admit that for some, fasting can be difficult. Surprisingly, it hasn’t been as tough as I thought it might be. And the results of doing this seem to be like magic – I feel ‘GRACES’ flowing into our marriage relationship. I truly believe my wife would say our marriage is better – far better. And fasting can be less than full-meal fasting. It can be giving up a stop at Starbucks, or not drinking coffee or soft drinks that day… go for what you can go for – and pray for the intention of the woman (or man) that you are ‘sponsoring.’ If any men are interested in trying sacrifices to honor and ‘lift up’ your wife (or some other woman in your life) – I ask you to go to www.e5men.org. There is a place to sign up for monthly reminders and for help in fasting or sticking with your program. If this is an idea that you’re unsure about, please pray and think about it. And if David and Allyson will allow a cross-plug here – my March column for Lisa Hendey’s great website: ( www.catholicmom.com ) is about the very issue of ‘lifting up women’ – resurrecting some of the beauty in our marriages. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for considering this. Thank you for any comments. Blessings. Deacon Tom. www.deacontomonline.com
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